坚：心

2009-02-03T04:51:00.000-08:00

I found this article quite interesting and truth, it quote from one of my friend blog!! Take a LOOK!!!

致所有的朋友，无论已婚与未婚，这是篇很好的文章。如果你暂时没有时间细细品味，也请你有时间的时候将自己的心沉淀下来，用心的看。好的文章真的不多了……

单身，有时不一定是贵族。单身也许会比较自由，但自由也有一个同义词，叫作寂寞。因为人不是什麽时候都喜欢一个人独处的；有时好东西需要跟人分享，有时候难过需要人安慰。单身贵族产生的原因，是因为经济上的独立、人格上的独立以及感情上的独立。独立是什麽？独立是需要而不依赖，一个独立的人需要异性，而不依赖异性。做情人之前，她应该先是朋友。她成为你的朋友之後，出现在你的生活里，才有可能认识你、了解你、知道你的长处而对你产生好感，进一步发展感情，变成情人、对象。

界上的颜色并非只有白色和黑色，黑与白之间还有很漫长的灰色地带。只要多相处，便能发现对方的优点、产生好感，这才是发展感情的自然过程。“一见锺情”以及“从一而终”的感情是不切实际的，我们需要的不是这种不切实际而虚幻的感情。有人形容跟异性交往，就好像在海边捡石头，大家都会捡喜欢的那一颗。一旦捡到一颗你最喜欢的石头，便把它带回家去，好好对待它，因为那是你唯一的石头。而且要记住，从此後不要再到海边去。永远相信，我已经找到最大、最美、最适合我的那一颗。

跟异性交往最重要的不是他有多好，而是他对你有多好．一个人如果条件很好，有一百分，可是这一百分之中，他只给你三四十分，或一二十分；相反地，另一个人也许只有七八十分，可是他却是全心全意的对待你，那你应该选择那一个？其实，每一个人的条件都是一样的。不管你有多好，都还有人比你更好。你虽然做不到一个“最好的人”，可是你却做得到一个“对对方最好的人”。每一个男孩子都可以说：“虽然我不是世界上最好的男人，但我是世界上对你最好的男人”。反过来女孩子也是一样，这是每个人都做得到的。感情最重要的是在於他对你的好，而不是他自己有多好。但是如果有一个人本身已经很好了，对你又是真心真意，真心爱你，那麽你真的可以把一生托付给他。

现在女性考虑婚姻的唯一条件，应该就是你爱不爱他，他爱不爱你，是不是真心真意对你，跟他在一起会不会有压力会不会快乐，而非他有什麽！人间的真爱是很难得的。在人的一生中，很难找到一个你真正爱，真正可以跟他过一辈子的人。如果你怯於表达，或害怕会有什麽事，错失一辈子可能只有一次的真爱，那就太可惜了，所以一定要采取主动，把心里的话说出来。如果一个男孩子因为女孩子对他采取主动而看不起她，那麽这个男孩子不是男生，而是畜生。更何况，幸福比面子重要，如果牺牲一时的面子可以换得一生的幸福，是非常值得的，勇敢把心里的话说出来，不要隐藏自己的真心。千万别说缘份未到，其实缘份到处都有，但却是稍纵即逝，如果“缘”不及时把握，那就没有“份”了。大多数的女性对感情是偏重於精神，男性则偏於物质。男孩子除了对女孩子殷勤体贴外，也要学会对女孩子负责任，要将对天下所有女孩子的殷勤体贴，全部用来对一个女孩子。另外，刚毅木纳并不能讨女孩欢心，所以要学习对女孩子甜言蜜语，多说好话。男人，为性而爱；女人，为爱而性。(anyone agree?) 一个维持起来轻松、愉快的感情容易长久！一个维持起来艰难而痛苦的感情不易长久，这时後就应该有所选择。

我们都是凡夫俗子，要的是平凡而幸福并且快乐的爱情。对所有的感情而言，过程远比结果重要。为什麽？因为所有的感情都是没有结果的。什麽是结果？结婚吗？结婚之後就过着幸福快乐的日子吗？可见我们不以感情的结果来评断它的价值感情，也不以时间的长短来论定它的价值。对感情而言，凡是发生过的都存在，凡是存在过的都有价值。世界上的感情每一段、每一分、每一秒都是值得珍惜的。

婚姻是人生里最大的一场赌局。在这无限长的时间里，我们还要互相呈现最丑陋的一面给对方看。婚姻和恋爱不同的是：恋爱可以花二个小时打扮自己，精神奕奕的向对方献殷勤、体贴，轻松完成任务。可是婚姻就无法随时维持高亢的状态。所以，婚姻是一场大赌注，需有万全的准备、周详的计划、十足的信任，然後再去押它一把，即使是这样都还有可能输掉。因此如果在赌之前，就知道自己不是心甘情愿、不是很爱他、并不想跟他过一辈子，那麽这一场赌注注定是要输的。千万不要为了爱情之外的任何一个理由结婚。感情的可贵不在於可从对方获得什麽，一方面是一种被依赖、被需要的感觉。有人依赖我，需要我，我会得到满足面对感情。

我们所要采取的就是三不政策：第一是不急：不要急着结婚。结婚虽然是很美好的事，但是不要着急，该是你的就是你的。第二是不怕：不要害怕付出。彼此必需一辈子努力，才能把感情维持好。你不可能『得到』一个美好的感情，你只能找到一个你心爱的人，来共同经营、造就、完成一段美好的感情。如果你没决心做好男人，那你就得不到好女人。世界上没有一个坏男人会有一个好女人，坏男人只会有可怜的女人；同样的，也没有一个坏女人会有一个好男人。何况感情中还有一个跟我们共同努力、想把它做好的人。这个合夥事业成功的机会是很大的，关键就在於你是否愿意努力、付出而已。第三是不要放弃。当你受了打击、挫折、伤害，当你感到灰心、失望时，有一个人无条件的、永远站在你这一边，支持你、鼓励你、安慰你，让你重新站起来面对这个世界。这个力量，是再亲的父母不能给我们的，是再要好的朋友也不能给我们的，只有在人生的旅程中所找到的心爱的伴侣，才能够给我们。

其实爱情是人生唯一的、真正珍贵的；也是唯一的、真正值得追求的东西。只要你有一个心爱的人，你就有了原动力，你就能面对全世界。

2008-10-14T10:45:00.001-07:00

Jus a quick blog 1st...Cos i promose some1 if she blog i mus blog too!! lols..hm...Here some pic taken wif the 2 local students before leaving Wuhan..They treat us to a rollar skating and a western restaurant to play and eat..The food was so damn nice and cheap!! $10 dollars for Pudding + Steak + Drink + Salad!! We ate till so bloated..lols..But too bad we didn't take any photos...Above are jus some pic taken b4 we went back....Problems uploading the pictures..i shall update another time..

Outbound Activities....Rock Climbing!! Woot...I didn't manage to climb to the peak.!! ZZ ..Sian..Cos too short!!

Last outing wif dem!! lols.

2008-10-01T12:10:00.000-07:00

Hm, it been quite some time since i last blog hur? Guess people are eagerly waiting for my latest blog!! Lols~...Past few days haven been quite free and easy!! Hm..Lesson ended quite early and we have the whole free time in the afternoon...I've been quite lazy and not exercising!! Getting fatter!! Zzz..Jialat..My latest weight is 60kg..Gosh!!

Other than slacking, i went out with my frend to shop at 光谷.. It a huge shopping mall (bigger than Vivo City) with all sort of clothes, gifts and etc. We spent almost 1/3 of a days to finish walking the whole shopping mall..And of cos, we bought many stuff!! haas..Our hobby for the past few days was jus shopping!! We went 1 shop to another and we saw many stuff that we tink it nice!! It difficult to choose!! haas...Shopping was fun, but however i guess i overspent abit le..Nid to control!! haas..I still haven got my sis bf de gift...Jialat..

Hm...on this tue, we went out with 2 local students here. At first they wanted to bring us out to some place to play but due to time constrain we changes our plan..They brought us to eat the local steamboat (which is veri spicy) and it taste delicious!!..Yummy!! After tat we went to Sing and we ended our day...Short day!! haas..Aniwae jus ty dem for bringin us out and it nice to noe dem..hm..Here are some of the pics we taken!!..Btw i jus went to cut and 烫 my hair...haha..now stand stand de hor!! Nice? lols..

2008-09-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

This is the 金顶, the top of Wudang Mountain..It took me 3.5 hrs to climb up here..It damn tiring...Lols..

The place was surrounded with mist and clouds..It like walking on the heavenly pathway..Whaha!! I've attained enlightment!! WOOT..I'm a God now..lols!!..JK

2008-09-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

2008-09-17T07:42:00.000-07:00

http://www.imeem.com/people/eerGqpc/video/kY0QjApA/firework_shortfilm_video/

2008-09-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

The Lu Lin Shan!!! The Scenery here is very nice...I can feel cloud drift pass and the air is very fresh!! However it also 1 of our most tiring trip..Becos we had to climb up the mountain for abt 800m and even 75degree staircase...But we enjoy ourself though....Healthy lifestyle..ahah

2008-09-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

This are the product Coca Cola Factory produces in China..SO nice and Cute...Latest is the Fu Wa!! hees..Tink Ah girl will like it veri much...lols...On top the bottle of coke is they offer us as beverages..The taste is much better compare to SG.!! woo..hees

2008-09-11T08:27:00.000-07:00

Coca Cola Factory Visit..Guess you will like the can ba..hees..

美人谷 Visit..The place where i fall down...So painful!! sob sob

2008-09-04T07:21:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling bad, so unfilial so hopeless..!! I jus got the news from my sis that my grandpa jus passed away...And wat am i doing in WUHAN here...Shldn't i be at least seeing off his funeral now? He passed away on last thus, my family members were in China on fri...And i was still enjoying my own life during that time...Wat am i doin? Scold me pls!!

My mum called back China on the thus during 4pm and my grandpa was still fine tat time, but everything is so sudden, he passed away at 10pm..My grandpa was calling my sis name b4 he was dying and even mistaken my aunt daughter as her...He jus wanna take a look at his granddaughter but he had no more chance..He say my mum was lying to him becos my mum promise my grandpa that my sis will go back China and see him...But he left with regret...I guess my mum is feeling damn bad now...(even tough my sis say she was ok now)..And even my dad and bro cried when they got the news...

After so many days, my sis den told me...And it too late to go back and see him now..Becos he's buried le.....I onli got the news today!! Today!!! My mum once ask me whether can i be able to leave from this immersion programme if anything was to happen to my grandpa..I say CANNOT!! CANNOT!!...Why i say tat...I never even ask my teacher and i say cannot jus becos i tot tis thing wun happen...And even tough my mum noe he's feeling worse b4 the time i comin to WUHAN, she didn't tell me...She dun wan me to worried...!! My dad want me to called back everyday after i reach here, but till now i didn't jus becos i feel it useless to call back!!

I So angry wif myself now!! Tday exam can't even do well, family r/s oso cannot maintain well...SO USELESS.........

Yan how? how?

2008-09-03T05:29:00.000-07:00

Next we went to the Shopping and Makan Street!! Me and another frend shop quite long der!! lols...Shopping seems fun..haas..But oso spend quite many $$ der @_@ !!

Pictures of the street!! Our tour guide say it only took 20 min for you to walk from start to end..However we shop for 2 hrs we can't even finish walking!! lols..Every shop got 2-3 storeys!! OMG...And somemore there is a underground food centre which sell many delicious food!! BTW this is oso the place which desmond ate the Bin Tang Hu Lu and hav food poisoning..LOLS!!

This 2 shirt!! YAN, which 1 shld i give ur bro..hmm

Above are the clothes i bought....The jacket is for my bro. I like the jacket very much, still considering whether wanna gib my bro anot!! HAHA...lols

2008-09-03T04:46:00.000-07:00

Yoz, I'm back..Hmm tml having my 1st exam (10%), I haven study yet!! lols..GG...Think tonite gonna prepare to burn midnite oil..haas..Last stun we went to 2 places, 1 is the Hankou Garden and another is a Food & Shopping Street.. (forget the name le)

HanKou Garden, Below are some pic we taken along..The garden is abt 7.5 km long and we were given only An hour plus to complete the whole journey. But we couldn't even cover 2 km time is up!! lols..Imagine how many photos we taken!! haas...

The wolve dog is so BIG!!! I scare..LOLS!!

Blur me!! lols Guess what the yellow stone is? IT A SPEAKER!! lols..

Group pic on the boat!!

Pictures of the Garden from the gate!!

Froggy!! It a water cooler!!

Pictures taken with my frend..Lols..

2008-08-30T09:07:00.001-07:00

Do you think this Blue Crystal (top), and Ma Nao (below) are nice? I hope so...YAN !! OKIEZ MA?

On the top, is my frend and my lecture..My lecture veri cute lo..Owae tok COLD jokes which is reali damn COLD..And the most impt is he IS A TICO PEK OSO..haas..Look at the btm, he Xianing the female teacher of Wuhan Uni...HAAS

This is the room that i stay with my frend and the living room..SO MESSY RIGHT!! bo bian, shirt dunno wanna put whre..Everyday keep raining, the shirt cannot even get dry..Zzz

A few taken b4 i goin for lesson..This is the track and soccer field..Behind is the Lake!! IT SO HAZY here!!

The place that we went ytd!! 黄鹤楼.. On the top is a pair of Dragon Jade, and below are SKULLS!!! lols

This is wat we ate today in the restaurant..For the past 2 days, we hav been eating restaurant...lols...And i ate 3 bowl of rice!! omg...I dunno why, came to china when u eat u wun feel full...Maybe is becos of the cold weather!! Or maybe is the price!! One person pay abt $4 SG dollars oni...lols..Cheaper than SG so much...hm...But will nt be eating tis anymore...From next week goin canteen eat, Ramen oni $1 SG dollars..Cheaper!! 1st week oni, i spent almost $100 SG DOLLARS!!! GOsh..Control...hees.

Some other pictures taken!! The one look like box is a big coffin use in the past...LOLS..It reali veri big!!

2008-08-30T02:39:00.001-07:00

Jus to add those funny PICs!! Whaha...

Just a few day after staying in the school hostel the toilet bowl is stuck after someone shit!! LOLS!!! And my friend is trying to pump the shit down!! haas...LOOK AT THE WHOLE TOILET BOWL!!! FULL OF SHIT!!

2008-08-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

Next i will talk about my Wuhan Trip..Hm!! Monday took the plane at 8am..B4 tat many announcement was make for other flight tat there was delay!! Lucky for ours der's no delay..Reach GuangZhou Airport at ard 1 pm and we hav to wait for our next flight which is at 6pm...SO LATE~~ zz...And we went around looking for restaurant to eat....The price was quite cheap and the food was nice..Yummy!!

After we reach the sch hostel it already late nite abt 11 pm le...And we hav to wake up at 8 in the next morning...TIRED~~~~~~ ZZ...Past few days was still quite relax...Lessons was tough though...Cannot understand wat teacher teaching..GG...Week 2 class test le...Dunno can pass anot...After lesson went for sport activities like bball, Soccer, Ping Pong, Gym and even singing...LOLS~~ But mostly play bball la...Nth much to do...hm...Next week gonna start to become busy le ba..haiz..SADed...AND OMG, it jus 5 days in china, i spent more ard 800 yuan le!! which is $160 SINGAPORE DOLLARS!!! OMG...JIALAT...Mus eat bread for every meal le...

Living here is abit uncomfortable..Esp communicating with the chinese here..Zzz..Bball nearly quarrel with dem liao..LOLS!! Environment here is dirty, although thing are cheaper but still i prefer SG..I MISS SG!!! BUT I MISS YOU MORE!!! (u noe who i'm talking abt) HEES!!...
Below are some pic i took secretly!! All abt someone...DUN BE SHOCK to see it..CENSORED!!! M18 not allowed to see..LOLS...Not much pic taken la...Nth to take...haiz..

SOMEONE BATHING!!! LOLS

IS DESMOND SLPING OR SUCKING HIS THUMB? GOSH!!

I Miss you so much!!! Although past few days hav been chatting wif u, but i still wanna see you!! Still got 1 more month!! SO LONG~~~ ZzzzZzz....I LOVE YOU!! MUACK

2008-08-29T05:43:00.000-07:00

This are some random pic taken at Soo Chian b'day at Chevron (Jurong east)...Lol...My face was abit red becos i drank red wine...So weak me, drank 2 cup face red till like tat le...Tat time was one person emoing at the Swing der...Yan and her sis and sd was talking at the bench...Den Yan suddenly call me and say she was crying!! Make me so worried!! faster chiong der...haiz...

Pic taken for my end of attachment!!

2008-08-28T22:28:00.000-07:00

HoHoHO, i'm back!! Yesh...Hm...Guess De and Yan is waiting eagerly for my blog..lols...HEES!!! Sumimasen!!

Okiez, let me start with the past 2 weeks b4 i came to Wuhan for the immersion programme...Hm...Went out with Yan almost everyday, and we hav load of stuff to chat!! Hees..So happy to see her...Hm...But guess she tired too, cause i owae midnight drive to her hse and chit chat wif her and causes her to sleep late...HM...sorry worz =)...Aniwae, Yan hav been bullying me nowadays..LOL!! Guess is my retribution, last time bully her too much...Haas...

Below are some random pic of the places tat we went:

Singapore Flyer!! I tot tis photos are nice!! Hees..

Near her hse while we were chatting

2008-08-09T00:49:00.000-07:00

Haiz!!! 2 weeks never go singing le..Tis is the 3rd week le...ARG!! next week mus go.!! But i "SHI SHENG" le...I go no voice now...Talking oso got problem...But hav been eating fried food everyday..!! hm...My voice is so different now.!! haas..But i love it...muhaha...

Have been eating vitamin C tablet for the past few weeks!! lols..And i just found out i eating the wrong dosage!! I'm eating far too much..lol...No wonder toilet became my frend..haas..Eating too many Vitamin C can cause gum bleeding, nose bleed, slow recovery of fracture arms and wounds and impaired digestion..So many problem!! No wonder my foot tat whole nail still black!!...lols..But hack care la..haas.CONTINUE TO EAT...The tablet taste so much better than sweets..lols..

I'm so bored!! lols...Attachment finish le, although happy but got nth to do..Goin oversea soon!! yea...Any suggestion for goin anywhere? WHO WAN GO BUGEE JUMP!!! lols...

2008-08-06T02:01:00.000-07:00

Lols...Some1 is eagerly waiting for my new update...HM...But i got no good news to talk about. However i got a piece of very bad new...haiz..

Ok, let start wif something funny...The week before last week, i was driving toward Bukit batok back to my dad shop after sending my mum home...Jus at my hse here, while i was making a left turn, i didn't notice the left turn signal was on, so i didn't move...Then the car behind horn me, LOLS...And later as the car drove pass me, i saw the person was MR Kelvin Tan!! ZZ...Gosh...How dare he horn me!! HAHA..I had my revenge!!! hm...

Last sun, went to play bball wif Andy, desmond SD. After tat i went home alone...I drop my wallet on the bus and i only found out when i reach home.!!! My IC, driving license, ez link, posb bank card, 70 bucks and etc were all inside..Damn it...I'm quickly cancel my Posb card and make a police report. (just for ur knowledge, if u lost ur IC, Local passport, driving license cards Etc, no police report is required, but if u still wan to report oso can)...I'm so angry with myself la!! I went to bus interchange twice to ask whether got ppl return anything and even went up a bus to check...But found nth...So sad!! can't sleep for that day!!

PRAY for me, tat person or any kind hearted person who saw my wallet can you return to me!!! PLS!!!

2008-07-16T03:07:00.000-07:00

Jus come here for an quick update...hm...

Last sat went to play bball wif Desmond, Andy and SD...We play almost the whole day from 2+ to 9pm...Lols..The following day, every1 got aching everywhere..Zz..Guess too long never exercise vigorously le...Sat suppose to do my proj, but end up i went out playing...LOL...I'm so lazy..zz

Sun, me and SD went to Desmond hse to do proj and to dye hair oso...LOLS!!.. But end up i never do again...hm..Cos Des and sd was playing game..Make me cannot concentrate...Z...End up i join dem...Suppose to hand up the report to desmond on sun but i drag till ytd..lols...Kana gan by him..Hm...Me and sd dye the same colour!! lols..It jus suit the colour i wan..muhaha...Not too bright...Actually me and sd were suppose to dye different colours, cos both of us bought 1 dye each...But desmond say the dye i bought wun nt haven any effect if i dye out, so we ended up sharing one dye...Aniwae, so sorry to waste sd money!! lols...

Lately, i started dreaming again..zz...I've stop dreaming since quite long le..But i dunno wat happen...I started to dream of "her". The story happen when i'm in China for the oversea trip this sept and i saw her in this 'La, Cos Sportiff" shop!! I even rmb the shop name so clearly...And oso some others stupid stuff...Haiz...

Recently jus spotted her chinese blog link from her blog...Saw some stuff written by her, it make me feel so 感触良多...

Tape started to rewining again...haiz

2008-07-06T07:35:00.000-07:00

It been quite sometime since i last blog...Today nth much to do, so blog lo....hm

Last few weeks had been continuing to go Cash Studio and sing...haas..Guess all my friends gonna say i'm mad..Every week go sing...Too rich..!! lols...But if der something u do which will make u happy, i dun tink u shldn't spent the money!! Cos is ZHI DE..hm...

Last sat, Chee hao ask me to borrow car from my dad, and he himself oso...Cos he wanted to ask me drive out tgt for supper or wat...End up, his parents didn't borrow him and i drive out myself..Zz...Went to pick up dem at their hse and we went to the coffeeshop near juying sec for a drink and went to Tamah jurong der again to eat...Tat day, it a veri bad experience for me after i drive the 2nd time after i got my driving licence..Cos i not quite familiarize wif my dad car and also i had nt been driving for the past few weeks...I Chuang Hong Deng twice!! OMG..Lucky der no camera..Otherwise my license will be revoke..lols...

Tis sat, i drive out again...Hmm..Tis time is much better experience..haas...I let Cheehao drive too...Cos his parents dun let him drive...So i gib him drive lo...haas...We went to the coffeeshop near my sch der to eat roti prata...lols...Today, my dad scolded me, haas...Cos he jus fill the fuel tank to full and i drive away i block le...haas...Nvm, next week drive again..lols..Hack care...Jus now oso went to drive my mum home...hm...When can i hav my own car? lols..Tink still long ba...haiz...Attachment still got 1 more mths jiu finish le...I am tinking of asking my dad to borrow me his car everyday..LOLS...Cos in the afternoon he often didn't use the car ma...So morning i drive dem to work, den i drive to sch and after sch i drive back home and later nite time i go drive dem back again...But dunno whether he will allowed anot...Hm...maybe for some days ba...HOPE SO..!!

I saw desmond dye his hair..!! I feel lyt dying it too oso..lols...

Haas...Am i getting abit mad or crazy? LOLS....Maybe...whaas...

2008-06-23T03:35:00.000-07:00

Hm...I'm so bored!! Haiz...Still got 1 1/2 mths to go till my attachment finish...So long!!....

Singing had become my weekly routine now..lols..Almost every sat i will go singing now...haas...Started to love singing more and more...hm...This week i goin again, next week i goin again..!! lols...haas...ANYONE WANNA JOIN? hm...But wat make me feel more excited is, we ask our supervisor to join us for singing when our attachment gonna finish...lols..SUPERVISOR LEH...scary!! lols..

The week before, i receive my driving liscense card...damn..i hate tat pic of myself...!! It so fat and ugly...!! I wanna jian fei!! I dun wanna grow back to tat again...Yea Yea!!...But this few days i seems to be eating quite alot...Guess i gonna resume my 1 day 1 loave of rasin bread...lol....hm..

Fri sch re-open le...mus go back sch for lesson again..!! zz...Sian..tink i'm gonna pon pon pon le...lazy go back...

Hm..hope everything are goin well for everyone...No more troubles...Peace!!

2008-06-18T08:04:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired now!! Jus reach hme after running, did push up, sit up and squat...My body feel so numb now..Gosh!! But i love it!! I love to be tired...lols...But nt mental tiredness..Haiz..

Past few weeks have been getting more tasks to do during attachment...It kinda of good and bad things..lols..Goods are, i will nt feel bored and had nth to do and fall asleep..(which will somehow affect my grades)...Bads are, the tasks are kinda of bored although simple...Jus keep key in data..Hate tis type of work too..I'm so fussy!! hm

Fri pls come faster!!!

2008-06-17T01:55:00.001-07:00

Hm...Last sat, went to Cash Studio with Andy and SD to sing...lols..Haven sing for the past few weeks le, stress!! lols...But i felt something amiss when i'm singing...I feel tat i'm jus singing rubbish cos i couldn't concentrate on any of the song..I dunno why!! haiz..

Recently started to pick up gambling again..Had been goin to singaporepools to gamble on soccer for Euro and even World Cup..Although my bet is small, but i seems to be adding more and more..haiz..Jialat..!!

Recently i look at the past photos i've taken for and wif my frends...Suddenly had the urge to take photos wif those person i reali wanted to take wif and regretted not taking wif...Haiz..There even no memories left...

Everyone seems getting busier and busier as they grown older..I miss the pri and sec days where every1 play ard tgt...I miss the moment we are together..I miss many many things...

Jus like those Chinese 古装戏, 我也希望去一个"远离世俗，一个没有勾心斗角，宁静的地方". 好比仙境，或许在哪儿不会有烦恼，不会有伤心.

2008-06-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

It 3.15am now, i'm still awake..Later still nid to go for work...Guess everyone are in the beautiful dreams..

I dunno why i'm still awake, i'm tired but i jus dun feel lyt sleeping? Why? What's happening? For the past few months, i had been experiencing Insomnia..I hate it!! It causes my whole morning and afternoon to be sleepy...Haiz...

I've got nth to do, i did exercise and was thinking of running oso...But i'm lazy to go out now...Guess i'm not goin to sleep le...

Shld i drink? HM... Guess i shld, it help me to slp...haas!!

2008-06-10T03:14:00.000-07:00

What i gonna say? I dunno, i'm jus too tired to saying anything now...

Sun or to be specified, mon morning, me and andy went over to sd hse to drink...Supposing to be goin playground, but i later decide to go sd hse...I brought the vodka i bought and we DRANK!!.... I found out tat i the weakest 1 or maybe i too over-protective...Dunno...Cos in the morning i still nid to work...Andy and sd both drank much!! Oni me drinking 1 cup and nt even finishing it..sd drink the last 1/4 of it...I oso dunno y, my head so fast dizzy and headache...haiz..louya me!! Gonna train!! Any1 wanna pei me drink? lol...The 2 of dem, one was too high, one too sad...Me leh, suddenly high, suddenly sad..zz...haiz...Both of dem was dead after finish 3rd cup..And fall asleep on the floor...Left me alone...hm..So i oso go slp, becos i damn tired...But lucky oso la, if i drink too much i guess mon i wun be able to wake up and go to work..lols..

KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-06-07T07:03:00.000-07:00

毅杰说得对，当我们才安慰他人时，说的话头头是道，但当我们面对同样的问题却束手无策。。

我不知道我又怎么了，可是我真的好想告诉你！！
从我们分手那天算起，已经过了差不多六个月了，但是我还是................

洪瑞(安鸟)，我真的好想你，好爱你。为什么我们会变成这样，我真的真的好希望你能回到我身边。
三年的时间说长不长，说短不短，为什么却在我付出一切的时候发生这种事。为什么！！
我好伤心，我的心好痛，我好不甘心。我好可望在获得一次机会，但却破灭了。

我知道现在我不应该在这里写这种东西，因为我知道你会看。但是我就是想让你看到，我想让你知道我现在的心情。我好想跟你聊天，但我却过不了自己这关。我只能偷偷的看你，瞄你，向握紧你的手，抱紧你，但我却不能。每次到JP就会情不自禁的头头看你有没有做工，但却常常失望而归。

以前生日时都没许什么愿望，可今年我有个愿望，就是希望我们能回到从前，再在一起。但这愿望真的能实现吗？？我真的不知道，也没信心。

2008-06-07T06:29:00.001-07:00

Haiz...Tis 2 weeks have been getting abit lazy, never go down run le..Dunno y, jus dun feel lyt goin down..Jialat..NAFA is coming soon!! nvm, next week go down more frequently...Arg!!

Ytd had my QSMM exam..Tat paper is quite straight forward and i tink it quite ez if u reali study for it..But i didn't...haha...But i tink i still can manage 60-70 marks ba...Lols..Hope so...

After sch meet yj and we went to town to get a Cross necklace for his china friend who requested..Cos his friend can't find a nice 1 at their hometown, so call yj to get 1 for him at here...I brought him to Far East and went to a few accessories shop and look for it.. Beginning we didn't found someting nice and was abt to go to bugis and look for it...Till we reach 2 floor den we found 1 and he bought for abt 12 bucks after discount..Hm...For myself, while looking for necklace i oso look for T-shirt and 3 quarter pants...And i bought a 3 quarter pants at Freshbox at $39.90...So exp..lols...Gonna broke...haha...The pants materials is quite thin, so starting i might no used to it..lols..hm...

After tat me and yj went to bugis, cos he wanna look for a hat...Nt long after we reach bugis, yj went into Freshbox and also bought a 3-1/4 pants at $39.90 also..Actually he wanna buy wif me at orchard, but dun hav his size...Later on, we shop ard to look for T-shirt and his hat..We reach a shop selling hats and he bought 1 der for $10 and he wore it straight away..lols..Kan jiong..I couldn't find any nice T-shirt i like so i didn't buy..sad...hm..

After shopping we went to the food junction to eat..We chat quite alot ard der..Talk abt y he recently keep can't fall asleep and also my stuff...Aiya, jus chat quite many la...Feel much better after chat wif him..But oso remind me of many stuff...haiz..

Tday he went back to china for abt 2 weeks..wish him good luck ba...

2008-06-05T02:22:00.000-07:00

Tml exam, took half day leave...Yea...Dunid work tml, so happy, but hav to stdy for exam...Arg!! Sat goin SING again..lols...ANY1 WANNA JOIN? lols...

ARG!!! I hate my brain!! Jus can't stop thinking...

Things happen on 1 JAN 2008 jus keep comin back.....The day which you brought me up to Heaven and throw me down to Hell...It hurts, reali hurts...I still dun understand why..Why u decided to gib me the chance but took away moment later...Haiz...I reali (L) you and i had prove and changes so much for u, but is this all really too late? I dunno...I reali dunnoo...Maybe our r/s had already gone something wrong since the day u share your 心事 with him and not me...I reali dunno...

I dun blame any1, i blame myself for all this....But i nid.............. :'(

2008-06-04T01:51:00.001-07:00

Hm..I'm back after work...Past few days hav been so tired...Almost fall asleep everytime i got the chance to rest..lols..

Mon, celebrate for YJ b'day...Quite delighted to see YJ again...It has been a while i say and chat wif him le..Think after this occasion, next time if we wanna meet will be more difficult le..haas...Went to bugis alone, gab offer to lobang me and yj oso ask me wanna meet at JE 1st anot..Guess wat, i reject both!! haas..I WAN TO BE ALONE!! hm...But end up i was late, taking my own sweet time..lols..

Aniwae, went to hav steamboat at bugis der...Too long never go der le, forget how to go..The food der was as per normal, nth much to eat..So i eat veri less..haas..Oni noe everyone complaining tat i kept eating vegetables...HEY, I WAN JIAN FEI HOR!! DUN TRY TO YIN YOU ME!! But i drink quite alot ba...Abt 2 bottle of beer...Hm...Drink until abit dizzy dizzy le..haas...But nt drunk la, i'm still able to walk a straight line..After tat cut the cake and sang b'day song for him...No 1 wanna sing..zz...oni me and Du liang blasting our voice out!! Aniwae i knew nt many ppl wanna eat the cake, so i keep feeding ch and austin so tat we can finish the cake and nt waste it..haas..CH GOIN TO GROW FAT AGAIN!!..

After eating, some of dem take Gab car back, while me and YJ took MRT back...Again, we chatted along the way...Good good...hees..Next time maybe no chance le...hm..When i reach home, i rested awhile and went running...Nightmare start to happen...lols...Jus after running abt 200m, started to experience headache..Maybe becos of the beer..haas..But hack care, i REN!! and ran abt 3 rounds den went to do sit up, pull up blah blah and went home..I finish bathing and i took out the vodka tat i bought...I pour abt 1/5 of my cup, pure...And sit down watch tv...I had my first sip and i feel nth..Tot my Jiu liang improve..So i decide to finish the whole cup wif 2nd sip...The moment i drink finish, my whole person went high! lols..Whole body feel like air gushing out, and whole body suddenly feel veri warm...Moment later, i started to feel dizzy again...hm..Lucky i never drink much..lols...I lie on the sofa and fall asleep..Sleep quite well tat nite..lols..No worries and nth to tink of...But jus a few hrs...sad!! Nid to go work...NVM, this weekend, my vodka waitin for me again!! haas...

It seem like u adapting well to Chinese culture..hm..Ur hairstyle, and clothing u wear now are so china based..haiz...Hm...

2008-06-02T01:47:00.000-07:00

Life is so boring!! zz...Actually wanna borrow car from my dad, but i keep dragging it till sun den i wanna ask him...hm...But someting happened...hai...

Sat nite Andy and Tong Zhe supposed to come over my hse to don, but Andy parents had a big fight and so oni Tz came...Tat nite b4 12am, my dad suddenly tell me tml morning mus go help him...zz..He owae make it so last min...Den i tell him my frend staying overnite leh, den how? My mum call me 8am ++ go help, and i say anything...Next morning, i slept till quite late, although i did wake up at 8+ for awhile..I was waiting for my dad or mum to call me wake up and go to his shop, which they owae did...But they never, so i tot they dun wanna ask me go help dem le...

1pm, my dad called, he ask me my frend still in our hse ah? i say "ya". He continue by saying, "你很厉害，叫朋友留到这么迟然后就不用来帮忙了" in a sacarstic manner and hang the phone..After tat we never talk to each other le..Ytd dinner time, he gimme sickening look..Fine with me, jus hack care abt him...

I'm so sian!! Life is such a trouble...Arg...Later yj b'day, dunno wat to do...Never buy any present or wat...hm...nvm, later bao Ang Bao like we owae do...ROTTING TIME!!

2008-05-28T06:11:00.000-07:00

This few days are bored!! And i'm so tired...haiz...During break time at company, i will slp for 1 hour...lols...But nt oni me sleeping la, other students from my class oso sleep...Working at TOS is simply too boring and sian...haiz..

Jus went to west mall and IMM to help my sister change ownership of her mobile plan to me..Cos she wanna keep her no.. But end up, she didn't changes...Cos nid to pay too many charges...hm...My sis bf and his bro drove motorbike and bring us ard...Suddenly feel lyt wanna go learn motorbike oso...hmm...Actually i wanna learn, but my dad dun allow, i nid to pay myself if i wanna learn...sad...No $$...lols..Den i will hav a bike and car liscense...HAHA..Good Good...lols...I'm day dreaming...hm...

Mon celebrating YJ b'day...Every1 call me go...hm...No choice lo, gib yj face too, long time oso never see him le...Maybe go see him the LAST TIME? lols..He flying b to china, later~~~~~!! LOLS...hm...Jk la...I sept goin to sichuan, later it was me not him...haas..

Mon i feel lyt asking my dad borrow me his car...lols...lazy take mrt down...But dunno will he borrow anot...Oso scare i haven familiarise wif his car yet den wanna drive so far...!! SO FAN!! But if borrow oso more fang bian...So borrow? dun borrow?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-05-25T08:12:00.000-07:00

LOLS!! Tday went to Andy hse to Don, So boring lo...nth to do...hm...

Next tue is my bro b'day, so my family and I went out to hav dinner tgt at Boon lay...Eat many stuff..ZZ...All my exercise are gone to waste...Saw SK too, went to his dad shop and call for piang he...haas...After tat, my bro and sis all call me drive my dad van...And i drive lo..I tink i drove quite badly lo..haas...Was like hogging abit le...Not veri comfortable with the seat, mirror, places of the clutch, brake and accelerator...lols...But guess it will get better la..Will be practising when i got the opportunity to drive the car again.haha...

I wanna own a car myself too!! But no $$$...haiz...

2008-05-24T13:49:00.000-07:00

Find this 2 song very meaning, esp it lyrics..1st song is Xin Dong by Shino Lin Xiao Pei, 2nd is Sha Gua by Wen Lan...Recently start to like Rap song..lols..keep practise jay chow song..haas..hm..

林晓培 -- 心动

有多久没见你
以为你在那里
原来就住在我的心底
陪伴着我的呼吸
有多远的距离
以为闻不到你的气息
谁知道你背影这么长
回头就看到你
过去让它过去
来不及
从头喜欢你
白云缠绕着蓝天 He~
如果不能够永远都在一起
也至少给我们
怀念的勇气
拥抱的权利
好让你明白
我心动的痕迹
过去让它过去
来不及
从头喜欢你
白云缠绕着蓝天 He~
如果不能够永远都在一起
也至少给我们
怀念的勇气
拥抱的权利
好让你明白
我心动的痕迹
总是想再见你
还试着打探你的消息
原来你就住在我的身体
守护我的回忆

温岚 -- 傻瓜

词:温岚曲:吴克群

其实他做的坏事我们都懂
没有什么不同
眼光闪烁暧昧流动
闭上眼当作听说其

实别人的招数我们都懂
没有什么不同
故作软弱撒娇害羞
只是有一点别扭

傻瓜也许单纯地懂
爱得没那么做作
爱上了我不保留

傻瓜我们都一样
被爱情伤了又伤
相信这个他不一样
却又再一次受伤

傻瓜我们都一样
受了伤却不投降
相信付出会有代价
代价只是一句傻瓜

2008-05-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

Tday went out wif Andy and leslie to Cash-Studio and sing again..Muhaha...Actually ytd wanna go, but the price is too exp la...Kbox $30+ each person, cash studio oso mus $20...So we didn't go lo...

Tday jus the 3 of us went der..haas..Cos andy say wanna secret training and practise those song we never sing 1...haas..We blast our voice singing...haas..Try all those impossible song..I will update 1 song by Dai Ai Ling...Listen the whole song and u will noe how high the key is...lols..

Now, doning at andy hse...So tired and nth to do...haiz..

Think you are doin well ba...Maybe it fated tat i will saw u...Saw u talkin on the phone smilling happily...Take care ba...

2008-05-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

Past 2 days had a gd chat wif bao and sd...Tok abt couple of stuff, like driving and how thing and life changes every since "tat" happened...

Chated wif bao abt how my driving stuff..He congratz me on passing the test the first time and was worrying for himself whether he can do it anot..I gav him some suggestion and tell him roughly wat to do and wat will be test and most imptly make sure he nid to keep relax and nt nervous..But seems, he failed to do tat...He failed the test tday..Haiz...3 of us take the theory and test all tgt, now is like me and ch pass le bt he failed..

Den he suddenly ask me, "i veri long didn't go play bball wif dem le hor?"..And this started our conversation for the next topic...lols..Actually all of dem noe i've changed...I'm nt tat xiaohui they knew...The one tat will joke and bully dem anymore..Seems like become strangers now huh...haas..They knew it la...I dun wanna elaborate it anymore..lols..

For sd, it almost the same ba..hm...

Tday andy say something which i tink tat 很有道理.....
"Love hav no distance, there distance only when you feel there is"..

2008-05-21T02:43:00.000-07:00

HM.....Wher shld i start? Arg!!

Okiez..Last sat went singing wif Andy, leslie, desmond and andy sec sch frends..Total 7 of us...
Tat day we suppose to meet tgt at J.E at 12.15..So i meet up andy 1st at Jp and we proceed to JE tgt..We waited for andy frend to reach and go orchard tgt..However we was ps by andy frend..They told us to meet 12.15 at JE but end up they went to orchard themselve..Arg..PISS off le...

The whole day, me, andy and leslie didn't sing much actually..Mostly was andy frend who were singing..lols...Another thing is, desmond told us he will be reaching at 3-4pm..End up he reach at 5+...Zzz..When he reach we already gonna end the whole session le..Lucky is nt so exp..If not we sure call him to pay too..lols..After tat went to his hse to gamble..hm...Jus dun feel lyt goin home..stay til abt 11.30 den went back home..

Sunday morning went drivin lesson after tat went to sentosa wif andy to accompany my frend, TONG ZHE...lols..His gf came to sg for holiday for abt 4 days...Tz ask me wanna pei him anot, and i agree since i got nth to do..haas..The weather der was so damn hot...Guess wat, we jus walk along siloso beach till the underwater world and we went back after tat..LOLS..Waste time..My frend didn't even plan wat to do and which place to visit..Jus went der blankly...More imptly, andy was throwing tantrum, i could see Tz gf was quite unhappy..lols..After tat we went chinatown becos Tz wanna change money den we proceed to Bugis to shpping...haas..Leslie was der too wif us...I managed to bought a pant while andy bought a shirt...Guess wat i pant i bought? lols..I oso dunno y i will buy tat, it tapered pant...lols..Aniwae is quite comfortable wearing it ba..haas..I still wanna buy a bag, a shirt, a 3/4 pant....But no $$..lols..Tat pant cost me $60 bucks..And my driving lesson cos me few hundred bucks..I haven even collect the money from my dad..haiz..NVM, my pay is comin soon..hees..

For mon, i did nth much, so dun wanna say abt it...

TUE!!! haas..A very shocking and happy occasion, i pass my driving test!! hees...I accumulate 14 demerit points...woot..nt bad huh for me...(1st time horz!!)...I got 3 mistakes and 2 were repeated mistake, tat y i minus so many points..!! I was nt expecting i could pass becos i knew i did quite a no. of mistakes..The 1st task where the instructor call me to do, which is parallel parking, i already touch the pole le..Was quite dejected when he say tat...THE 1st task oni i made such mistake..haiz...But after tat i jus keep cool and drive like i normally do...I was nearly caught by him when he wanna me to do a E-brake...lols..He tap the front of the car so soft...Lucky i manage to step onto the brake..After tat went out testing on the road...I was lucky to get route 8, becos i was practising teck whye road for the the past few driving lessons...So i jus drive normally and i get throught...Although there something which nearly cost me, but i was lucky tat the bus driver gib way to me...Ty god!! hees..

When i saw he flip over my test paper, i saw 14 points and he tick PASSED!! haas..I was overjoy...After he finish his words, i went to tell my instructor immediately..haas..i was like a kid, jumping ard..lols..

YEA YEA, i can drive now...hees..but my dad dun wanna buy a car..sad.=(

Another good new is, CH passed too..haas..Now left austin le..let pray he pass it too... =)...And ty to those who pray for me...!! u noe who i referring too...

2008-05-15T09:30:00.000-07:00

I'm back, back from China...There so many bad news since i came back here..haiz..

1) There earthquake occur at Sichuan which kill 1/10 of the population there. So coincidence, my oversea attachment will be at Sichuan- ChengDu der...I'm so eagerly waiting for tat day to come and now such this happen!! I'm nt sure whether the sch will cancel tat trip anot..haiz..HOPE NOT

2) There so many projects yet to be completed for my IAP, esp my VSM project..I've drag it for too long. Now everyday is a busy day for me during work.Arg!!

3) As u noe i went back to China is to visit my grandpa, the doctor say that he had 2 mths left.haiz..He had been suffering for his whole life and now before he's gone, he still nid to take all those pain. He couldn't even eat anything now. All he could is 打点滴...Is like wat my relative said, waitin for dealth, AND is hunger to dealth...Y mus he still suffer like tat..In addition, his son (my dad bro) is still eyeing his money, he wanted to take my dad passport thus he can claim the money..What can of unfilial son is him! All he noe is $$$$$....

4) Every since i suffering from (so call) depression, there were couple of friends* accompanying me all this while..However right now, so of them are experience problems, they feel bored and sian. But i couldn't provide any help, i could not cheer dem up..I'm so useless...haiz..

Couples of GOOD stuff which happen

1) I get to see my 2 表姐, 表哥 and my grandma, grandpa and other relatives. It great to see dem after so many years. Esp my cousins (大姐&二姐).. Hav a good chat wif dem Esp my 大姐, she teach me and me communicate in jap too..Haas..so happy..For my 二姐 leh, she pregnant now. So fast worz...My 大姐 not even pregnant yet..Aniwae it good to see dem again la...haas..Hope to see other if got chance...Maybe this comin sichuan trip!! haas.. My DA JIE promise to visit SG b4 she is 30 years old...haas..

2) Everyday eat seafood, gonna get sick of it already. Relatives keep pushing us to eat eat eat!! lols...Now i tink i hav high blood pressure le...Eat so much seafood..arg..

3) I get back to my running schedule again!! yea..Tday went running and i completed my 5 rds (abt 6km), 50 push ups, 8 pull up, 50 sit ups and 50 times jumping over a bench..NAFA is comin tis july, omg!! i wanna get gold for it..Hope my standing broad jump wun sabo my result!!

China trip is quite boring actually..Hm...Everyday eat den nth much to do le..Seem repeating this function since the day i went back. Went to buy a black leather shoe at der.

But i would to complement the weather der, it was cooling and dry, went wind blow, u will feel even better.hmm..Not like SG, so hot!! can stand it...

Next is, although ppl work very hard der to earn jus a small sum of money, they still spent time wif their children. Their life is not as hectic as compare to SG!

The air der was not too bad, haas...I went to walk abt few kilometres wif my Wai Gong. Went the sea breeze is blow toward us, it so SHIOK!!

How i hope i could lead a more simple life than such a hectic life in SG..Haiz......

2008-05-08T02:06:00.000-07:00

Hm...Very long never update le ba...Jus a quick update here and i got to rush for my driving lesson..Will be having my practical test on 20 may..Pray hard i can pass the 1st time..TAT would be SUPERB!!

Last fri actually was abit upset when our course leader show us the list of people who are goin for the Sichuan trip...My name was not inside...haiz...They gib the slot to those academic result better one and oso some year 2 students...My frend was veri furious wif his decision not to gib the year 3 the privelage!! Cos me, Andy, tong zhe and gabriel was not in that list!! ARG!!....However the following day, i receive an email from him saying tat he persuade 2 year 2 student to drop out and so me and another guy whom is in the reserve list got in!! YEA!! haas...Next sem will hav 2 module less to study...woot...(however i dunno y andy, tz and gab was not in the reserve list...they were straight rejected...tat y andy was so angry...he sen many email and scolded the course leader..LOL! )

Taken leave on tis fri, next mon and the following tue...The following tue is for my driving test..While for tis fri and mon, i will be flying back to China to see my grandpa for maybe the last time...Yup, he ill !! Seriously ill...May pass away anytime...Tat y i'm goin b...Haiz...Sad...Y i'm not the one who replacing him!!... Tat would be perfect wat.!!

Have been busying wif work tis few days...My cell leader suddenly shoot many project gimme do...DIE ah...Slack too much in the past, the VSM mus submit in 26 may and i never complete any parts yet..In addition i still got others project to struggle wif.!! still got driving, still mus go b china!! OMG!!!! I HATE IT!!

Heard tat u are sick again...haiz...Tink u gonna take good care of urself ba...Sry for not been der, but i shldn't be der too ba...hm...miss (love) ya..........

It getting late...tink it will take me another long time to blog again... =) patient....

2008-04-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

Past few days nth much had happen....Basically was jus slacking during work..My cell leader was on leave from mon to wed...And my VSM folder was gone...I dunno wat to do...Jialat.....Think my cell leader gonna be veri disappointed in me..LOLS...haiz..

Jus went to watch IRON-MAN wif andy...And wat should i say? It a great show, and u shld catch it..!! Aniwae it a block-buster movie, shld most ppl will go watch ba...AND RMB TO STAY EVEN AFTER THE SHOW END, COS AFTER THE INTRO, DER IS STILL ANOTHER PART.

TML goin sing again!! yea YEA!! I'm addicted now.......hm...dunno y...

have u forgotten abt me?? I'm still missing u.....

2008-04-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

Hm...Fri went back to sch for a Module...I was not listening to the lecturer for the 1st 2 lesson..Lols..Went b to sch to slack....The lesson shld end at 5pm but the teacher end it One & 1/2 hrs earlier...Lols...So me and some other frends stay in the class and play games lo, becos 6 pm i hav drivin lesson to attend...

Had some revision on parking for driving...Starting was abit blur, but after awhile, i recall b the stuff le...Hm..Hope Sun wun mess up the circuit..Lols...

And i exchange my phone wif my sis...Yea...I wanted to get a new phone larz...My phone LCD screen spoil...So sian..Can't even see the msg properly...Was thinking of getting SE W910i, but it was too exp larz...Z...So when i saw my sis phone, i like it..The design was nice and it a music phone which i wanted...Hmm..Her phone is Samsung 450i (if i'm nt wrong)...So i borrow from my sis to use for some times lo..See whether the phone is gd anot...And i slp at 5am on Sat morning..Lols..Becos i was busy xfer song and editing the names of the song....

Wake up at 10+am, prepare to go out to SING again!! Yea...Addicted Now..lols...Meet Andy and went over Cash Studio...Tday a total of 7 of us (include me) went singing...Hav fun der..Yea...Hope to sing again soon!! Lols...Aniwae i sang 1 song till i nearly cry out...The song title is Yong Bang -- Ni Shi Wo Zui Shen Ai De Nv Ren........It was a veri nice song la...HM....I'm MAD!!

After Singing went to watch movie wif Andy again!! Lols...Guess wat i watch? Forbidden Kingdom again!! Lols...Tat Jackie Chan and Jet Li movie again.........Haas...Cos i got a coupon from my bro which i can see any movie free..Lols..So he call me to pei him watch...Z...Watch at 10pm, and the cinema was so pack wif ppl...When we buy ticket, oni left 1 row and 3rd row got seats left..No choice, hav to take 3rd row..So damn Near!! Arg....Got to strain the neck to watch tat movie...Haiz..sad...

Sun got drivin lesson again, circuit training...Tired...Afternoon still got to pei SD go his company for nth!!! ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hack la....Jus continue my MADDNESS!!! yea yea...I'm mad...woot.......

2008-04-24T06:35:00.000-07:00

一通突如其来的电话让我好开心，可却也感到不知所措。只知道我好想你，好想你。

2008-04-24T01:46:00.000-07:00

This few days hav been quite tiring..Morning go work, evening still nid to go my dad shop help till nite...Nite everyday 2-3 days went to run 6km...Slept at 12 am +....TIRED ARH!!!!!!!!! So wish i could sleep in my dream forever and not waking up....

Tue went running, half way thru my 3rd round, i saw sheng de...Lols...And this stupid guy waited for me at my hse downstair to finish my run...We went to find a place sat down and rest and chat for awhile..lols...He arh!! So tired still dun wanna go home!! More robot than me...Lols..

I'm waiting, waiting, waiting waiting waitin waitin waiti wait wai wa w ....................

2008-04-18T23:13:00.001-07:00

Jus reach home nt long ago, and i've got nth to do so i'm blogging now...

Morning went for driving lesson. Although i didn't make much mistakes tis time (the last lesson was terrible) but there is minor problems which i got to change and need to change..My instructor oso told me tat...Hmm..He say i would be good if i dun make those mistake anymore...Hope i reali could change it ba..

After my lesson, i went to jp to walk walk...Although i find jp veri boring le but no choice...Ytd ask andy, tz, ryu they all any1 wanna go sing or watch movie anot...None wanna go...haiz...Andy never reply...Then i went i call him, he say he was goin to extend his passport validity and need to go to sch to hand up the sichuan trip forms..Haiz...So no 1 accompany me...so sad..So i went watching movie alone...Think it shld be the 1st time i watch movie alone ba...Last time owae accompany by friends...lols..Watch the forbidden kingdom, starring jackie chan, jet li, liu yi fei, li bing bing and etc....The show was nice, not so bored, and some parts was funny too...Think for tis movie, many ppl gonna catch it sooner or later, so i dunid to advertise le...Next movie i'm gonna watch is IRON MAN...yea...

Watching movie alone may be lonely, but i tink it jus back to my old times ba...None will care

2008-04-18T06:34:00.000-07:00

No reply from u...haiz..I think it a stupid qn to ask now ba? Maybe ignoring it is right ba, i dunno...

Last friday went to watch movie wif Tong zhe and Andy...We watch Run Papa Run, starring Gu Tian Le, Liu Ruo Ying and a very cute female kid..I highly recommended people to watch that movie, haas..The movie compromises quality such as "touching, comedy and lesson that we can learn"... And it make sure to make u laugh when u saw tat little gal say something...Which is "我靠，把他的弟弟砍下来" something like tat...I shld nt say too much on it and u all shld watch it urself... =)

Attachment hav still been very boring. And also, i'm gonna to be late for my work, becos i slack too much le...I need to hand up the project on may, and i'm still nt in the middle of it...Jialat...In addition i still hav another project to be completed...OMG, i tink i nid to buck up le...If NOT, there goes my 'A's"....haiz....

This wed jus went running wif andy around his hse der after my work..The time is so pack tat after i reach hme i straight run to his hse der and run le..Cos after tat i still nid to go help my dad tend shop...My dad went back to china to see my grandfather becos he like very ill now, so he call us to help him tend shop for 2 weeks..OMG, it so tiring...haiz...Past few weeks i hav been running..WOot...Twice every week and ran more than 5km..SHIOK!! Today jus went running wif my bro oso, ran 6 km...hm...Feel my stamina is building up...However, i also started to feel tiredness in my body, cos i owae 9pm ++ den reach home, after tat rest awhile abt 10 pm went down running till 10.30-10.45. Den the next day 6am+ mus wake up and go work le...Arg...But no choice...I hate MYSELF, I HATE MY FACE, I HATE MY BODY!! I WANNA CHANGE IT......

I'm still thinking of you everyday, wat abt u? Like Yi Xiang Qing Yuan...haiz....This few days keep thinking, 为什么你不要给我多一点时间，就多一点，让我证明我有多爱你呢？But everything is too late...too late...hmm.....

2008-04-15T08:15:00.000-07:00

我好想问你，“现在你心里还有爱我的感觉存在吗？，你还喜欢我吗？”。我们是否还有机会重新开始？

我真的好想知道。希望你能真心地告诉我，不伦是传简讯还是打电话给我都行。

2008-04-13T07:59:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired now...Hm....Jus now went running alone, and i found out something. My stamina hav drop till so jialat!! Arg!! How i'm goin to prepare for my NAFA test..Zz...

I took 1/2 hour to run abt 5km, so long!! haiz...Actually i dunno whether the distance i ran..lols...I ran Boon lay sec the whole compound 1 rd der run till juying sec der (tat 2.4km route) den ran back..Think got 5km ba...Jialat le..

Next week my dad flying back to china to see my grandpa...Think he's seriously ill..Then i need to go his shop and help out...Sianz...After work still mus go his shop...No time for me to run le...haiz..

My brain is occupy no matter wat i do....

好想好想!!

2008-04-12T11:02:00.000-07:00

已经过了四个月了, 我们分手也差不多有这么久吧! 可我始终还是忘不

了你, 常常还是在思念你. 对你的那份 "情" 丝毫没减少, 反而好像增加

了. 我承告诉自己要忘你, 但我却做不到. 我真没用啊!! 有时常常有轻

生的念头, 但想到家人却又不舍又怕.真不知道自己在想什么!

最近常常告诉自己不要打电话给你, 不要传简讯给你,以为这样会好过

一点.但好适得其反，反而更控制不住自己，想得更多。近几天常常

看我和你拍过得照片, 感觉好甜蜜，好幸福。可越看心也传来震震得

伤痛, 感觉好糟糕！前几天上friendster 看到你写给我的留言，心里很

不是滋味。你说“只要我在你身边，我想你会很开心很幸福”。

看到了这句话我便想了想，以前的我的确比较开心，也觉得有你在

我好幸福。可这都是过去了，一切都不存在了。承经我们也彼此说

过几时要结婚，要生孩子。虽然那时我好像很敷衍，很排斥的回答你

的问题。但其实我心里已感受到默默的喜悦，脑海里也呈现出幅画面，

我的初恋将会是我的第一，也是最后的恋情。但我败给了自己，也败

给了时间。就这样的，我失去了最爱得你。我真的好不服气，好希望

有再多一次机会让我证明我有多么爱你。但似乎我已将我的运气用

尽了，奇迹再也不会出现了. “后悔”也许是人类做的一件最愚蠢

的事，但也是应为这样，如果能在赋予给他们多一次机会，他们会付

出一切，永远爱护，照顾她。

好怀念你那张可爱亲切友善的脸。还有你那灿烂的笑容跟你那开朗的

性格不时会影响周围的人。最重要的还是你为爱付出一切的那份情与

执著。我真的真的好想回到身边。可这都是在梦里才会实现吧。我好

希望能梦想成真！！

以前我以为是你不能没有我，但我大错特错了，原来事实是我不能

没有你.

2008-04-10T09:26:00.000-07:00

Hm...I'm back...It quite some time since i last posted, so think i will hav a brief post abt last weeks..

As usual, nid to go work every weekdays, and working seems getting bored to worst now..Even those NTU students are caught "eating snake"...lols..So u can imagine how sian is our work..Everyday sat down der and do paperwork..I dunno how i'm goin to survive till August..Jialat..And i started to do my VSM this week, this project is the most impt project for our IAP, and i found out there is many things to be done...I hav till may to complete for 6 products...Now i haven even complete 1...OMG!!

Last fri went to sing again..lols..Andy friend ask, so i join along lo..Fan zheng oso nth to do at home...End up those friends of Andy friend which she called are Austin friends..Lols...So coincidence huh...But tat day we were CON!! we sang for oni 3 hrs and we play $18 each..OMG, so much expensive...Next time not goin to sing at nite...lols..

This Tue went to watch the Jian Long Xie Jia, it quite a nice show..Rate 4/5 stars..lols..Dunno wat i'm thinking now, i seems to start to like abt history, esp about SAN GUO..Jus keep seeing books related to it...lols..

Ytd went to eat Subway wif Andy...Haas..This is mine 1st time eating Subway!! lols...It quite normal actually, jus tat the bread and the slice tomato is nice!! lols..There nth special abt the chicken..lols...

Today celebrate chee hao b'day at gab hse...Hmm, ate pizza!! SINFUl!! i wanna JIAN FEI!! lols..
Gonna run 10 km wif Andy!! arg...Tml maybe watching movie again!! lols...Maybe watch Rogue Crocodile..hm...This comin sat maybe goin sing again!! woot..Dunno y, seems i addicted to singing now..

Dunno y, i like to be alone now...Dun like crowd or even small crowd...Jus feel tat silence seems to peaceful and calm..Although it made u tink of many stuffs.......Wif frend maybe can chit chat abt many things and laugh tgt, but u can't find tat silence...haiz..Dunno larz...Maybe i'm 孤僻 now..lols...

Later 3 am u gonna wake up and go airport and fetch him...haiz..."How i hope i was tat him"....Blah.......My mind goin mad again...bb

2008-03-26T08:29:00.000-07:00

想跟你说声谢谢，谢谢你陪我去唱歌。我晓得你很累也有点不想

去，但你还是去了。

今天跟你说的那番话使我想了很久，鼓起勇气说的真心话，应为

我怕说了后你会从此避开我。我知道我说的话不能改变什么，但

其实如你所说我会比较好受点。你说你没有什么值得我留念，要

我去认识其他女生。或许你说的是对的，但是我现在心里只有

你，不可能在容下其他人, 还有就是我本身就不擅长说话，而且

也不敢跟陌生的女孩说话。所以要我认识女孩子是很难的。

其实我现在已看开了，但是并不代表我放弃了你或是对你的爱有

丝毫减少，只是我不再像当时那么坚持，那么执著，应为那样不

仅仅带个你压力，也会伤害到你，我，还有我的家人。你说过你

承经做过很多对不起我的事，但我何尝没让你伤心过呢？而你会

这么做多半跟我脱不了关系。当时的你却能原谅我，为何这次我

不能在给彼此多一个机会呢？比起这次，当时的我或许比较辛运

能得到你的原谅，可这一次我将不会在强求，反而会默默地等待

那个答案。这个答案或许永远都不会实现，但我还是会等，直到

我不爱你的那一天。你说过你和他正在计划着将来，这是一件好

事。但我想说的是，有哪一对情侣不想永远的在一起，只是"将

来”的事是个未知数，没有人会知道会发生什么是，就像我们

俩。我并不是在说什么坏话还是什么，只是想表达我的想法。可

能那一天我决定放弃你还是我爱上了另一个女生也说不一定，但

是那都是以后的事，现在我爱的人还是你。放心吧我只是想让你

知道我还是很爱你，就这样而已，没有什么了。虽然我好想欺骗自己

想像这一切都是假的，想象你能回到我身边，但是这毕竟是虚构的。

小辉亲笔

2008-03-22T20:53:00.000-07:00

Tue went to driving after work, was scolded by my instructor again..Argg...But lucky i still get a pass for my route 7...After tat went to find her and sen her home..We was chatting on the way and we also sat down at her blk downstair and chat for awhile...It was great to see her and chat wif her again...hmm...But as she nid to rush home, we chat for jus short time oni...haiz...sad...

Wed she got no work!! Yea, so ask her to catch a movie wif me...She agreed! woot...We watch "The Water Horse", it was quite nice actually...The water horse was so cute when the dog was chasing him/her...haha..Enjoy watchin the movie wif her..hm..Hope der's more to come ba...After that sen her home as she nid to work, den i went home myself...

Fri was Good Friday, so der's no work..Yea..Attachment is bored..Still nid to tahan for 4 mths, dunno whether can i survive anot..So thurs we went out to watch movie wif Andy and his frend and also 2 of our collegue from NTU..Watch the movie Rule #1..It was quite a normal show actually..Not too bad, not too good...

Fri went to bugis to help my bro buy his new destop, and also accompany yj to buy psp..My another frend Tong zhe was der too..Went home after that...It was so heavy to carry tat stupid CPU back home!! arg...In addition i cut my finger also while fixed the CPU...so careless of me...haiz...Luckily i use my bro $$ and reward myself wif a new mouse...lolx.....Tat day Andy and Tong zhe went to my hse and don...Weird huh..For the past few weeks we keep goin to each other hse to don..lols..Nth to do ma...

Sat nth much to do, went to cut hair wif andy and den went to temple to help raymond to play drum...cos chee hao and austin are overseas, hence they can't help..Saw shaw kae and raymond, it was such a long time i last seen dem...Have a weird feeling, 感觉很沉重 when i saw them..Haiz...

好想你!!

2008-03-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

Another boring day for attachment, dun wanna tok abt it...Hmm...Heard from my friends around at the company tat my supervisor treat me quite well...Lolx...I also hope so, den i can get better grades...hmm..

After work when to BBDC, help her top up her acc, but found out that my POSB bank card got a crack!! zz...Mus go change le, but heard tat i need to pay!! zz...

Waited for her to finish working, at the time being, keep walk around jurong point..Tink i gonna be veri familiar with JP after my attachment..Everyday go der walk, reali nth to do..haiz...Today when to a singtel shop, saw they having promotion...The price are much cheaper than starhub and M1!! But so sian, my line is starhub.....

Today so happy!! cos!! hmm...dun tell u!! slp time..

2008-03-17T04:02:00.001-07:00

Jus came back from work, abit tired...hm...Later will be meeting her, hees!! So happy!! Will be passing her the stuff (guess?)...Hope she will like it...( I did it for veri long de hor!!)

Last sat went to Cash Studio again, wif Andy, tong zhe, desmond, and Andy friends (include the campus superstar)..Lolx...We play a small prank on her, keep calling her to sign autograph for us...ahaha..Did enjoy when singing, however when we go back tat time, Andy told me tat his frend jus had a break up, no wander when i saw her sing, her eye was fill wif tears...haiz..It remind me of someting too...

My result was out on 14 march, was quite happy wif my result actually...hmm...My gpa was 3.15, improve!! ya!!....But my class got a total of 4-5 person got GPA 4...zzz...And others oso did quite well, which mean tis sem every1 get quite good results....But i'm still happy la...hm...

Thoughts hav been keep invading my mind, i can't stop tinking...Feel lyt doin something which sd had done, but adding more force...haiz.......

2008-03-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

OMG!! Look at the time now, ZZ, it 4am....I'm so tired now, later 6am nid to wake up and go for work...Hope i dun overslept..(actually was tinking of not sleeping).... Was doin some stuff for the past few days, and feel so happy when i completed it..Hees, YeA!! But is was brain damaging, kill so many of my brain cells....

Last sat, me, tz, desmond went to andy hse to stay overnite...Staying at home now seems meaningless to me, so went out wif dem..At least there's companion...hm...But it oso damn boring la, nth to do...

Past few days was so bored, attachment was like doin stuff which is totally not related to our course, it more towards those office work...Keep doin all those paperwork!! Wasting of time der...zzz...But luckily we can still slack...Met some new friends der from NTU, quite click wif dem...But compare to us, they owae seems so busy...Dunno whre they find tasks to do...After work owae went to JP wif andy to waste time...Jus dun feel lyt goin home now, too bored, too cold, too silent...

Everytime went to JP, i owae went to B1, but dunno y, each time i saw u der, i dun dare to approached you...weird huh..I will jus keep walking past you but making sure u can't spot me..Ytd (wed), i saw you der too...hm.......Tink i'm starting to get timid, dun dare to find or call you now...Dunno larz..."He's" goin back to china for a period of time, i'm experiencing mixed feelings..Dunno whether should i be happy or sad...But u will sure be sad ba...haiz....

Ahhhhh, time getting late...Slp!! (take care of yourself =)......)

2008-03-05T05:43:00.001-08:00

Past few days andy dad hav been driving us to the factory, so reach der quite early...So wanna say ty to him...

Hav nth to say about today..A boring day for me, was reading manuals the whole day in the company..No work assign to me and some of my colleague oso hav nth to do...Tml my supervisor say will gimme some task to do, hope tml will be a busy day..

Tday after work went to driving again, my instructor gonna help me book the date for circuit training..It 10 lesson which cost $231.10!! so much, zz...But may nt hav 10 lesson, may be lesser due to the availability...Tday lesson goes quite smoothly, starting to pick up and drive better now...No more engine off...

Past 2 days mood was reali bad, haiz....你的冷漠，让我的心好痛, 好痛！！

2008-03-04T06:45:00.000-08:00

It second day of work, and i hav slack like 1 whole day, becos i hav no work to do..Wanna help but afraid i make it worse...So jus copy down some notes and went down the shop floor and see how the processes work..Quite eye opening actually, the workers hav oso been veri friendly to me..When i approached their place, they even take the initiative to tell me wat is tis..This whole week will be quite bored ba, heard from our colleague (NTU students who is oso having attachment der) told us..The first week will be like familiarise the place der...However i've heard from my cell leader tat der will be project comin and i will be busy!! Good!! I want to be busy now, otherwise i will gone crazy..haiz..

After work, wen to JP to get a new spectacles. Cos the old is spoilt, so in case i nid it der will be 1 extra...After that suddenly dun feel lyt goin home, so ask andy wanna watch movie anot..We watch tis movie name "Meeting of the Spartans"...We miss some of the parts becos i was taking my own sweet time to buy tibits and drink and smuggle in (actually dun wanna watch movie, but nth to do, jus wanna waste time)....This movie which is a comedy show hav no Quality at all...Jus for the front parts where is abit** funny oni, the show hav no Link, Story Line or anything which make is a good show..It the worse movie i ever seen...So dun go watch tat..

Tml morning no more bread for me to eat, i ate all and i din buy extra...Nvm, JIAN FEI!! haha.....bye

2008-03-03T05:29:00.000-08:00

Today is my 1st day of attachment...Took andy father car to the company...However we was late, becos andy father tot the place is ez to find and we went der at 7am..End up we had some difficulties finding the place and so we were late..But lucky the 1st day they did not take much account into it...Phew..Tml taking 192 der, hope i can find my way der..hm..

Tday actually was veri simple day ba, we went der, filled in some forms, den went for briefing..And for the whole day we were jus been brief and we did nth...Lucky they gib couple of long breaks, otherwise i'm gonna fall asleep...The people der was friendly, compare to RTC...LOLX..At least they tok nicely and smile to us...Tml the safety boots and goggle will be issued to me, and i will be goin to the production ground..woots...abit nervous now...Hope the whole attachment goes smoothly without any troubles...It a 5 mth attachment, so long..zz...And worst of all, the food at the canteen taste so yuck! zz...And it so oily! Although it cheap, but i wun consider eating der anymore unless i hav no choice...Will be bring bread der and eat...hm...My breakfast and lunch will be bread..haha..

After work, went for driving lesson...Instructor say my parking is ok le so today jus drive along those test route...Seems ez, but actually quite tough...Will be having my driving practical test on may, pray everyting work out perfectly and i pass the 1st time..! lol...Like day dreaming..haiz...

After driving lesson, went to jp to print someting and also to buy landyard....Actually was hoping to see her, but i tink tday she didn't work...hm..Next time ba..( Tat day went to see u working, actually wanna approach u but saw u like veri busy den i decided to wait at the Mei Zhen Xiang der, den i saw ur bro followed by ur sis, den i faster walk away and hide..hm...haiz...sad)

2008-02-29T06:57:00.000-08:00

Firstly i wanna say sry to jx for nt attending his b'day on wed, hope he dun mind...Tat day i was still struggling, although i went der but i'm still afraid...So end up i still din appear...Aniwae wish him a happy belated b'day....

Tat day i chatted wif her, although abit awkard at first, but it still goes fine ba...And i oso wish to say sry to her too, i knew i shld't return the stuff to u, i understand how tat feel..But my mum reali keep nag at me, so i hav no choice..I knew i'm wrong for saying it belong to u ba...But dun worry, i will keep my promise...And oso sry for making u cry again...I knew u hav been in a difficult position, and i oso knew wat i did have cause worries to my family esp my mum...I will listen to u, i will try nt to show my feeling out...And oso ty for comin tat day, i enjoy it too...(it was the 1st time i saw u so enthu to 飙歌) =)

Tday went to play bball wif andy and desmond at jurong sec..Quite boring, not much ppl der...Next time i tink dun go back der le...Tml goin sing again, wif Andy, Desmond and andy friends...Hope everyting goes fine too...Sunday hav to attended relative wedding dinner...Zz...Dun wish to go, but my mum say mus go if nt next time no 1 will attend my wedding....How am i gonna put a happy face when i pulling a long face? Mon attachment, take 192 der..Hope i dun 迷路..If not die...

2008-02-24T06:29:00.000-08:00

2008-02-23T22:17:00.000-08:00

*First Love Lyrics (English Version)

Once in a while
You are in my mind
I think about the days that we had
And I dream that these would
all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
How I want here to be with you
Once more

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna be the one in my life
So true, I believe I can never find
Somebody like you
my first love

Once in awhile
You are in my dreams
I can feel the warmth of your embrace
And I pray that it will all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
And how I want here to be with you
Once more
yah yah yah

You will always be inside my heart
And you should know
How I wish I could have
never let you go
Come into my life again
Please don't say no
Now and forever you are still the one In my heart
So true, I believe I could never find
Somebody like you
My first love
oh oh

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna be the one
So true, I believe I could never find
Now and forever

*Chinese Version

最后的吻
带着淡淡的香烟味道
苦涩而令人心碎的香味
明天的
这个时候
你会在哪里呢
又会想着谁呢
你总是我的爱人
就算在以后的生命中和谁恋爱也好
我记住去爱
你教我怎样
你总是我的唯一
现在仍唱着悲伤的情歌
直至新的歌曲再次推出

一度呆滞的时间
将会继续运转
剩下的尽是难以忘怀的事情
明天的这个时间
我一定会哭着
想起深爱过的你
你总是在我的心中
在我心中永远给你留下一片空间
我也希望在你心中也有那片空间
现在和永远你都是唯一的

现在仍唱着悲伤的情歌
直至新的歌曲再次推出
你总是我的爱人
就算在以后的生命中和谁恋爱也好
我记住去爱
你教我怎样
你总是我的唯一
现在仍唱着悲伤的情歌
直到永远

*Japanese Version

Saigo no kisu wa tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori
Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni irundarou
Dare wo omotterundarou

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashi uta utaeru made

Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki dasouto shiteru
Wasureta kunai kotobakari
Ashita no imagoro niwa
Watashi wa kitto naiteru
Anatawo omotterundarou
You will always be inside my heart
Itsumo anata dake no bassho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too

Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made
You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever

My eye sight getting more blur and blur each day, think i use laptop too much in the nite...Goin off......

2008-02-23T21:15:00.000-08:00

Exam jus ended on fri, i oni hav 1 week of holiday before i go for attachment at TOS (Turbine Overhaul Services)....And feel free to ask me out (except for late nite), becos i hav nth to do!!

Wed after our paper, me, andy and desmond went to play bowling at Chevron and i play badly(oo , a memorable place).. The score i get was so low!! Below 50 points..Maybe i shld not play bowling next time, throw my own face!! zz..

Friday paper is SOM, though the paper is 1 that i tink i could score, but i flung it becos of over-confident..(tink so).. Din actually prepare for it and there is one 25 marks qn i didn't do..Sad.!! haiz..But it over, jus hope that i still get B+ for tat module..After our paper me and my frends went to play pool..It was quite fun actually, we were joking ard....
After tat me, andy and desmond hav to meet at 11pm at JE becos we will be clubbing....Desmond suggested it on tue and both of us agreed..He say he din go b4 and oso, he's feeling down, in addition i'm too free, so we went for clubbing...Starting when we reach 3 of us seems lose, dunno wat to do, so we jus walk ard...We do nt dare to dance cos we were scare, paiseh and oso we do nt noe how to dance!!...But in later part we became more daring and jus dance freely...It a better experience compare to the 1st 2 times when i went der...Maybe is becos it not so packed wif ppl this time...hm....After clubbing, we went to the nearby 7-11 store and they get some foods...We chatted for awhile b4 proceeding to City Hall Mrt station and waited for the 1st train....3 of us slept outside the MRT station...haha, we are jus too tired...

The following afternoon i went to sing song at the Family karaoke centre wif andy and some of his frend...It was quite weird for me becos i dunno dem, so i'm abit paiseh singing wif dem...But hopefully tis will nt happen on next sat, becos we are goin der again!!! And tis time wif andy godsis and his frend...lolx..(maybe 1 of the campus superstar is goin too)

I gonna broke le after all this.......i'm spending all my $$$...hmmmm

Choose to avoid u, i'm the 1 who suffer most, but i hav no choice even i miss you so much and wanted to see you so much...But seeing u and him tgt, i tink i will feel more miserable. Till the day i get my mind clear, or when i reali wish to see u again, i will appear...I'm nt sure whether doin this is right or wrong, but i tink it will be better for me and u...Andy hav scolded me for doin such foolish thing, he say tat if i dun move the 1st step, next time when we see each other, we might be stranger...I noe u are trying to maintain the friendship between us, but i tink i got to disappoint u...

2008-02-20T10:36:00.000-08:00

Fri is the last paper and it will be end of my exam..Fri paper is SOM, 1 module which i'm better in, so hopefully i can get gd grade for it too...Tue and wed paper was AM and ASAS, i tink i did not do quite well for both of the paper, but still i hope i can scrap through it..ESP ASAS, i dun wanna retake the module!!

Everyday are still a miserable day for me esp when i'm alone...But everything is getting better bit by bit..At least i laugh when i'm wif my frends now..Fri, my bro will be goin Genting for 3 days 2 nite, and my sis will be goin sentosa too...I'm alone again, in this dark and quiet flat...The silence can cause me to 抓狂..Parents will still be working till late nite...How am i goin to pass this few days!! Luckily Yj call me to pei him go buy shirt on sat...But wat happen after tat...haiz..No one's noe, not even myself..

Attachment starting soon at 3 march. Heard from my senior tat it would be an easy and boring jobs...Wish that everything goes fine for me..

2008-02-18T06:58:00.001-08:00

I'm reali getting mad nowadays, I knew everything could be return to the past by i jus can't accept the truth..I'm hurting everyone ard me and i've been irritating to dem...I hav no cure till the day i could accept it...

I noe i hav been a disturbance to u, i'm reali sorry abt it...But i jus can't reali face the facts now..But dun worry, i will disappear myself till i finally did it....I will nt disturb u anymore...From now on u can hav a peaceful life wif him...

The new song updated is 1 song i find for quite long..It a old song starring in a channel 8 show in 1998 "钢琴88" sang by 关德辉..A very nice and meaningful song...

2008-02-17T04:50:00.000-08:00

Ytd went to watch movie wif Tz and Andy at jp..The movie that we watch is Death Note..The show was somehow unrelated wif the book Death Note..And also, the shinigami oni come out ONCE in the whole movie, which is 2hr 8 min long...The show was somehow abit boring but still nt too bad..But i dun recommend u all to watch tis show..This show is jus merely saying that a deadly virus which human produce is use to kill human being themselves..Becos, there was tis grps of ppl say that they are trying to save the earth, and by reducing the numbers of human in this world, it can balanced the ecosystem...Which mean they think tat tis world hav too many useless ppl, that y they wanna kill dem..It jus someting as simple as tat...

After the show, we went to desmond hse and gamble.....This few weeks, i keep asking dem out, and lucky i hav dem to accompany me, otherwise i dunno wat i will do at home...Andy and Desmond are oso having relationship problems now too...Haiz...Y tis year started so badly for every1..

2008-02-14T12:41:00.000-08:00

Ytd is Valentine day, so i would like to wish everyone a late Happy Valentine Day..Hope everyone enjoy on tat day...This year is different for me, i'm alone and oso not celebrating Valentine, but when i see couples on the road, i seems so envious and jealous abt dem..haiz...

Ytd went to a family karaoke centre at orchard to sing again!! It was much more cheaper compare to kbox, so we went der..And it again me who ask dem out.lolx..I'm gonna die of boredom if i kept staying at home...Total of 6 of us went der, me,tz,ryu,andy,andy bro and brenda..The place was quite ok, but their song is not fully updated..lolx..Some of the songs that i wanna sing, i couldn't find it..But aniwae, overall we did hav fun der la..haha (cheap place cannot so picky)

After that me and tz left 1st becos we hav something on..I went for driving lesson..I'm learing parallel parking now...woot..jus finish my reverse parking..hm..After my lesson end (abt 9pm), i went to her hse der and find her..I reali miss her too much, and i still can't forget her + tday is valentine day..It make me wanna see her more den b4. Even if i jus saw her back, i oso wish to see her...I went to 巴沙 to find her, but ending up i saw her mum der...sad..So i went to her hse downstair the playground and waited for her...It was 10pm at tat time..At 1st, i was quite boring, so i listen to radio using my phone..But as i waited for an hour, my hp batt getting flat...So i quickly sen some msg to her...Hoping she will reply..But end up she didn't.. ( saddness again) Few moment later, my hp went flat and i waited der staring blank...I knew she will go out tday cos it valentine day, but i din expect she out till so late... I waited at der till 3.30am but she still did nt appear...Haiz..I walked home filling with disappointment..I saw her mum, her father and her bro, BUT I DIDN"T SAW HER!!!! WHY!!...haiz..Actually i wanna find ppl to chat wif me, but i can't find any, and also my hp is flat.!!

I feel like dying now..I reali dunno wat shld i do now? Can "GOD" pls provide me with a bright day ahead!!

2008-02-12T13:32:00.000-08:00

Today i had my 1st paper : CADM.. It was a paper abt computer drawing..The paper was not too tough, but i did nt complete it..The time given was really too short..The time tat they allocated is only meant for those pro's..You can't make any mistake along, if not u will can't complete the paper..For me, i tink my 20-30 marks gone..Haiz..

After sch went to delifrance at holland village..O.O.. It my 1st time goin der,haha..Went der to meet up wif my godsis, zinmyo (zm) and also 2 others pri sch frend.. ZM will be flying to australia next wed for further study abt dentistry..It a 5 years degree..OMG so long...So we meet up to chat and oso to sen farewell to her...But i din tok much actually..haha..It was oni my frend, zhang bin sharing his experience on his army days, clubbing, blah blah...And it seems so fun and enjoyable for him..ahaha..He tok lotsa of craps...Nai ma (ZM) is still as beautiful as b4, and even she has a bf le..haha..Shocking!! tot she was those bao shou type..haha..She and her bf are veri cute, they had a Pai Tuo funds every mth whre each of dem will put some money into it...And tat their budget for the mth..They will use it for foods and others stuff..Gd idea huh, u all can consider it too..A good way nt to overspend ur monthly allowances..
It was fun to tok wif dem, although i got nth much to say..haha...Hope der more to come next time..Nai ma will be comin back on july... =) ....We chated from 4++ to abt 7++...hm..purely chatting..AND it was also my 1st time go delifrance...haha...I'm so shua gu..lolx...

Tml actually wanna go kbox again..But this time is goin to town, cos my frend say singing at der is cheaper...Oni $10 like tat, compare to kbox 20++ dollars..But ended up desmond nt free again...Sad...Den also wanna go play bball wif my pri sch frend, but most of dem are busying...And we cancel again..ARG!! Findin ppl to go out tgt is so difficult..However we have decided thursday we will go singing again..muhaha...I'm gonna had no voice again..

Exam around the corner, i hav no mood to stdy...HOW!!! OMG!! It already 5.52 AM!!! Tink i shld go sleep le....

2008-02-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

在这个世界上没有完美的人，正因为不完美，所以我们都有这样或那样的缺点，我们天蝎座的缺点是什么呢？　　

感情—— 　　如果一个天蝎座存在一个弱点的话，毫无疑问的，那一定是感情！天蝎座重感情，是一个很感情用事的人，对于自己所付出的一切都很重视，所以天蝎座对感情的依赖，是大家难想象的。可是，这也是我们最致命的弱点。所谓愈在乎的东西愈容易被其所伤害，当天蝎座知道自己的一切的投入都是假的或是无法挽留的时候，那个感觉不亚于世界末日.... 　　

自卑—— 　　自信是天蝎座生命里的一根顶梁柱，所以天蝎座在自己沉默的外表下都对事物的把握有着强大的信心。但是。每一个天蝎座在自己内心深处都有一种自卑.....人不相同，不过深藏在天蝎座内心的自卑却是无法消除的，而且这自卑是天蝎座最忌讳的事情，也是天蝎座最不愿意去面对的，这自卑是埋藏在信心下的一个炸弹，一旦被人掌握并利用，那么这个天蝎座的结果就是崩溃........... 　　

理智—— 　　天蝎座的感性一直都强于理性，所以很多时候天蝎座会不计较代价的去完成自己的目的，一个理智的天蝎座是可怕的，问题是天蝎座在理智上一直都无法战胜感性....在理性上的把持不定是天蝎座的一个硬伤。一个失去理智的天蝎座的杀伤力是可怕的，不过却是最容易被对付的时候，因为一旦失去理智，天蝎座只会和疯狗一个等级.......... 　　

自以为是—— 　　天蝎座的计划大多几近完美，可是天蝎座也是人，而不是万能的神。所以总是有这个或那个的突发事件去打乱这个计划。对于自己考虑到的问题，天蝎座会很从容的应付，因为天蝎座不习惯去做一个没有任何准备的事情，可是正因为这个样子，对于应付意料以外的事情，却几乎束手无策.....我们也是人，不可能去预料的一切......真正聪明的天蝎座只会对事情的成功保留八成的把握，因为这个世界上除了以发生的事实外，没有什么不可能的.... 、　　

孤独—— 　　在我的帖子里不只一次出现孤独这个词，很多朋友对于孤独这个词的含义和我原本的意义差别很大.....孤独不是孤单，我们会有很多的朋友，我们绝对的不孤单，我们也会有很多可以推心置腹的人，但，我们的确是孤独的.....那孤独是静夜沉思的独自感悟，是夜深人静的独品辛酸。天蝎座不是群居动物，这不是指生活上的，而是说心理上的。孤独的弱在于我们自己，因为一个人的力量终究无法和群体的力量相抗衡，也许，在心的最深处，天蝎座最信任的人是自己吧......... 　　

善良—— 　　蝎本善良，正如这个世界还是好人多一个样子，天蝎座大多也是善良的。其实天蝎座不是所有的东西都往坏的地方想。对于人性，我们还是希望是好的，对于任何人，我们都会选择去相信，所以，这就给人一次欺骗的机会，虽然仅仅只有一次，可是给我们带来的伤害也足够了....久之，我们也不在善良，人善被人欺，马善被人骑。可是，这能怪我们吗？　　

悲观—— 　　天蝎看到的东西，往往是事情残酷的一面，所以和我们天蝎在一起的时候，气氛会很沉闷。因为我们想到的首先是失败的情景，对所有的一切都保持低调，这个样子固然可以把所有的损失降到最低，可是，去失去了一个活力，一个生气........ 　　天蝎座的缺点很多，因为我们不完美！　　可正是我们的不完美，所以我们很真实..............

Y everything is so TRUE!!!

2008-02-11T09:44:00.000-08:00

天蠍座戀愛五大壞習慣

No.1 疑心病重
　　
No.2 控制欲强
　
No.3 在意别人的看法
　　
No.4 喜欢测试别人的容忍底线
　　
No.5 超级爱比较

NO.6喜歡胡思亂想

NO.7喜歡活在幻想中

2008-02-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

首先, 我这里所说的天蝎座特指那些天蝎性格十分突出，非常符合天蝎特点的人（按天蝎的说法是：配称得上天蝎座的人）。要指出的是,并不是所有10月24日-11月22日出生的人都完全具有天蝎座的性格,有些人的性格甚至会与天蝎相反。但就算是那些仅仅具有部分天蝎性格的人，也已经够你受的了。下面我为大家一一指出不要做天蝎男（女）朋友的理由：
1、天蝎属于典型的外冷内热。明明喜欢一个人，却偏偏不表现出来，表面上一副对你爱理不理的样子。除非你向他（她）主动表明自己的态度，否则你们就永远只是朋友。但一旦确立关系，天蝎的爱情就如同火山爆发，一发不可收拾，热得你无法承受，直到把两人烧为灰烬为止；就像那句话：“不在沉默中爆发，就在沉默中灭亡。”

2、天蝎不喜欢向别人说出自己的想法，就算是恋人也不例外。所以要想了解她在想什么，只能靠猜，或者旁敲侧击，或者从她的只言片语，一举一动中了解。而偏偏天蝎就喜欢这样，给你点暗示什么的，让你去猜，如果你猜不出来，或者误会了，她（他）会伤心，要不就笑你笨。所以做天蝎的男（女）朋友，没有点IQ是不行的，然后你得整天费神去猜她（他）又有什么新的莫名其妙的想法，总之就是累；

3、天蝎比较敏感，比较神经质，心眼太多。你和他（她）的每一句话，有什么举动，表情，即使是你无意的，天蝎都会仔细分析一番，然后得到一堆千奇百怪的结论，这些结论很少是正面的，比如以为你又不爱他（她）了，你又生气了，等等。接着就开始折磨自己的心理，折磨到自己受不了的时候，就做出一些奇怪的事情。但事后天蝎想起这些，自己都觉得不可思议，跟着就会傻乐一番。

4、天蝎永远摆脱不了对爱情的危机感。即使你们的爱情发展的十分顺利，两人关系已经十分融洽，天蝎仍然不时会想：我们会不会分手？万一以后分手，我该怎么办？等等。所以你得给他（她）安全感，经常表示你爱他（她）1314。要不然天蝎又得做出一些奇怪的行为来了。不过你倒不必担心他（她）会变心，因为天蝎的心思都在你身上了，他（她）对自己就很少考虑，更不会去考虑别人。

5、天蝎喜欢完全了解对方，即使是缺点也不放过。于是你在天蝎面前没有任何能隐藏的，即使你想隐藏也难逃天蝎那犀利的眼睛。甚至一些你平时不太注意的小毛病，天蝎也不放过。但你在神秘的天蝎面前，你对他（她）又能了解多少？

6、天蝎无论男女都是个醋坛子。所以建议不要在他（她）面前谈论帅哥美女之类，更不要盯着路过的GG、MM不放，否则天蝎的醋劲可以融化钢铁。但是，天蝎却有一种天生的吸引力，而他（她）自己对此也十分得意，时不时会自觉或不自觉地发挥出来。对于这种矛盾的做法，你能否接受？

7、天蝎自我感觉特别良好，好过头就变成了自大，还死要面子。十二星座中对自己评价最高的非天蝎莫数。看看百度天蝎吧，充斥着天蝎怎么怎么好，怎么怎么厉害，永远是十二星座第一名等等的贴子，跟贴的也把天蝎捧上了天，很少有反对的。其他星座吧不是没有类似的，但我感觉不象这里这么疯。因此，在天蝎面前，如果想搞好关系的话，千万不要直接指出他（她）的缺点或毛病，就算真理在你这边。非不得已，也要拐弯抹角、指桑骂槐地暗示他（她）。所以，你们的关系要想正常发展，你还得精通心理学、语言艺术、行为学等等。

8、天蝎对恋人的要求有点矛盾。女蝎要求男朋友要是个顶天立地、敢作敢为、诚实守信的男子汉，但同时也要懂得浪漫、体贴、善解人意。男蝎对另一半要求是温柔可爱，善良体贴，聪明爱家，小鸟依人，女人味越浓越好，但又要聪明坚强，独立自主，男蝎不喜欢太过幼稚的女人。结果就是，能被天蝎爱上，说明你很优秀，但你永远无法达到天蝎的标准；

9、天蝎不发火则已，一旦被惹急了，能用上所能用的所有恶毒的语言攻击你，非拼一个你死我活不可。你知趣的话，在火山爆发前的沉默期，赶紧住口，要不就走人（他（她）以后会自动找上门的）。见识过一次，我想你决不想再见识第二次。爆发过后天蝎会冷静下来，还会主动回头找你和好（虽然他（她）平时死要面子），但受伤的你能否接受他（她）类似道歉的道歉？

10、天蝎轻易不会主动提出分手，除非是情人严重的背叛或欺骗。虽然分手后天蝎还会长久地想你，但是你们重新和好的希望已经十分渺茫了，最多就是偶尔联系一下，说说“你好吗？”之类无聊的话，然后就是沉默…………和分手前判若两人。但如果你背叛或欺骗了天蝎…….结果…….很可能是悲剧。

I took this from the 星座 thingy, and i look at it. It so true!! From point 1 to 10, i resemble everything which it say.. So, take their warning, dun get into relationship with me, cos i'm not a good man or u suffer...

2008-02-11T06:16:00.000-08:00

A new year, everything shld be refresh, however i seems to start this new year badly. There owae something missing. I could feel it in everything things i do.. Goin to frend hse bai nian seems to be boring for me.. When i turn ard or look beside, i could nt find some1 to tok to which i had last time.. I miss the voice, i miss the laughter, i miss the presence.. But i could nt feel anything, "it" jus not there anymore..How i wish it could be der wif me..

Tday me, tz, andy, sd and andy bro went to kbox..And we sang..Hm..I'm too bored at home, so ask dem out..If nt i gonna do stupid thing at home again..!! I hate been alone, the feeling is so terrible.. It was quite fun to sing wif dem, andy was making fun of himself.. And i sang till my voice box flat again..lolx..Sang too much high pitch song..I sang many song, but wat affect me most is when i sang the song by "Baby Baby" by JJ.. It shld be a fast and happy song actually..However i can't feel any happiness..Jus a few weeks b4 i jus went to kbox with her and sing tat song too..It was more den memories!!

Tml is my 1st paper, CADM, hope i dun did badly for it.. Pray hard..

I sms her 2 times, but she hasn't reply any... I'm so sad...Shld i call her or shld i msg her again? I wish to see her again...Or have she forgotten abt me? She having holiday now, but yet she didn't come online once...In addition, she has nt been blogging now..I noe she has been busying past few days, hope to see her online this few days ba.. Y time seems to be passing so slowly..Everyday look like a year to me...

2008-02-07T13:05:00.000-08:00

大家新年快乐！（祝你在Genting能玩得开心一点）
昨天收到一通突如其来的电话，我外公从中国致电给我，向我拜年。最令我好奇的是，他竟然不是打电话到我家，而是打来我的手机。当时我还在睡梦中，被着突如其来的电话个吵醒。起初我还不知道是谁，后来仔细听着才发现是外公。当然非常得开心，惊喜，外公竟然会打电话给我，好想在见到他。我们互相拜年后，外公问了一件令我伤心的事。他问我瑞燕呢？没有来我家拜年吗？当时我不知道要怎么回答，只是说没有。还好他也没追问下去，要不然我也不知道该怎么回答他。（瑞燕，你知道吗，你已在我家人里留下了非常好的印象，特别是我外公和我妈妈。而我外公特别的想你，他从前都没有打来过。你知道吗？）昨天，我的姨丈也问我，怎么没有带女朋友来？我又是静静的回复他“没有”。我姑和姑丈还期待我带你去给他们看看。可现在我真的不晓得要怎么开口，以为我根本不知道该怎么表达。我还是接受不了这事实，我还是没办法忘记你。每当我独自一个人的时候，我就会看你的照片，想着你。好多人都劝我放弃，要看开点，不要再去想它了。我知道他们都是为了我好，应为他们不想看到我那么痛苦。但我始终还是办不到，我真的好盼望有一天你能回到我身边。爱上你，我真得很开心，真的一点都不后悔。

如果时间能倒转，一切能重新开始，你还是会选择离开我吗？

2008-02-04T20:39:00.000-08:00

Last sat, my mum keep ask me, "why ruiyan din come our hse lately, u and her quarrel issit". I have no choice but to tell her "ya", and we break le. She ask me why we break, did i went to find her? I jus keep quiet and tell her dun ask me abt it le. Then she told me, "拿得起，要放得下", she told me not to tink abt it anymore and get over it quickly. What i do was jus remain silent..Cos saying something is easier den doin it..And i was abit angry with her, becos the moment i told her abt the incident, when i reach home, my sis noe le..

Ytd nite, she came into the room, she tok to me again.. But tis time she tok in a more stern manner. She say "你不要在给我想了，已经是过去了，现在读书重要". I noe she care for me cos lately i hav nt been taking care of myself.. Everyday i came home, i jus throw myself in the room using com or wat..And my family was all in the living room.. I hav no mood to do anyting, i jus wish to be alone..I dun even care whether i'm hungry anot..If nt for my bro who owae ask me wanna eat, he's cooking, i tink i dun even will go to the kitchen and cook something to eat.. But right now, nth is impt to me.. Everytime when i'm alone, i will miss her, each time i see her pic in my hp i will ask myself y u are nt beside me now..I hate myself, i reali hate...Everyday i'm tinking of sms her, but i jus dun dare, i dun wish to make her tink i'm pestering her..She happy now, and i dun wish destroy it..

2008-02-01T19:48:00.000-08:00

昨天我看的一部连续剧，他们说了一句对白，“要忘记一段恋情，重新投入一段新恋情是最好的方法”。他们说的并不完全错，但如果那么容易忘记，就没有人会伤心，也没有人会做傻事了。

恭喜你因为你办到了。

杨宗纬回忆沙漠:

可能是寂寞讓人闖禍，我的心破了個洞，
時間的酒我喝很多，醒來后思念來得那么兇。
想她的時候云在滾動，往事却不肯隨風，
今天的我孤單生活，每一步都踏在烈日中，
回憶沙漠不看著反會痛，我喊了一聲祝福她聽見沒有，
沒有明天的人哪怕寂寞，別管我要往哪里走,
回憶沙漠烙下腳印真多，恐怕這世界上的人也忘了我,
我未解脫也許今年以后，會看見另一片宇宙。
回憶沙漠不看著反會痛，我喊了一聲祝福她聽見沒有，
沒有明天的人哪怕寂寞，別管我要往哪里走，
回憶沙漠烙下腳印真多，恐怕這世界上的人也忘了我,
我未解脫也許今年以后，會看見另一片宇宙.
我渴望雨天，可是沒用，誰能陪我走一走,
愛我的人，失去聯絡，謝謝她肯把昨天還給我。

2008-01-29T19:41:00.000-08:00

放你走我不知道是不是一个对的选择，但我只知道这样做你才会开心。也希望你做的选择是对的。你的前路将会是艰辛的，你自己要看着办，我不在你身边你要好好照顾自己。

而我呢，我会盼望有一天你会再一次回到我身边。我的心为你而“开”，也将为你而封闭。我爱你

2008-01-26T23:12:00.000-08:00

Those happy, and precious times memories!!! Come back!!

2008-01-24T08:29:00.000-08:00

我想我必须得向许多人说声谢谢与道歉。特别是shengde和她。我知道这几天以来常常让他们担忧。也应为这样，不知不觉中就伤害到他们。也很感动，谢谢他们常想办法让我笑。或许我的想法真的是错了。所以今天开始，我会尽力让自己看得开一点。让自己心情更开朗。但是，我依然还会等待。因为我相信。

2008-01-23T18:21:00.000-08:00

当一个人走向黑暗是，那时已经很难再回头了。除非有一双手能将他拉出来，要不.............。可这个人也不是谁都可以当的，她必须是一个他最在呼，最爱，最心疼的人。

我想跟她说对不起，应为我知道我常常排着一幅失魂落魄的脸，结果影响了她的心情。但我不是一个擅长掩饰自己的心情的人。如果要我装一幅开心的样子，我会更难受。或许我很悲观吧，但没办法，我的个性就是这样啊！庆幸的是，还好你还蛮乐观得，这至少让我放心多了。或许永远的消失在你面前可以解决问题吧？但我不想离开她，也不知道我到底能不能做到。咳.......。

这几天必须感谢Andy，他常常想办法逗我笑。虽然每一次都失败，但有一两次成功了。

2008-01-22T04:06:00.000-08:00

我好烦，心好痛，好辛苦啊！！！！！！！！！！啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！有没有人可以告诉我要怎做！！！！！
我真的好痛苦好伤心啊，为什么我连一个可以说话的朋友都没有。为什么！！我心好乱。我好想她，好像看到她。

好暗，好暗。一切都那么的暗。

BLOOD!!!

2008-01-18T07:58:00.000-08:00

OK! New blood is added. LOLX. The blood type is A*, haha..Last few days was simple. Go sch everyday and do the same thing.. Exam is getting nearer, i gonna get myself rdy for the exam, BECOS i wan A's for my modules!!! WHAHA...Tue and Thurs morning i send dear to sch, we had some gd chat along the way. Dear is owae sleepy in the morning, haha, dunno y. Maybe it early in the morning, most ppl jus wake up from lala land. haha..Hope she rest more often..

Ytd went to kbox wif her..And sry wor, becos of my lesson nid u to wait fer 2 hrs fer me, hehe, ty..B4 we went in, we bought some Prata hogdogs recommended by dear..WOW, it was yummy,haha, and we smuggle it into kbox and eat. Tat day we sang many song tgt and solo too. It was Fun, it was the 1st time where i'm so relaxing while singing songs. In the past i often feel paiseh, no matter is wif frend or others. Hope i can continue tis way,haha, cos my classmate ANDY keep jio me to KBOX!! lol...He say he wanna hear me sing. OMG!! I sang many songs ytd..Hmm.. Like Yang Zong Wei - Yu tian, bei pan, Li Sheng Jie - Yan Di Xing Kong, Jay Chow - Ge Qian etc.. The most weird song i sang is Xin Bu Liao Qing. It a very nice song, but i feel veri weird when i singing it, lolx..Cos i heard de version is sang by Yang Zong Wei, which is very sad but the version i singing is Wan Fang. The melody change abit, so i can't follow.Lolx..But overall i happy wif my performance, haha.. Mus go ask dear for her opinion..haha..Good, bad?? lolx..However, after the session, i ended up wif no voice becos i sing too much..haha..After tat we took some photos tgt and den went home.. B4 we went home, we went to Mac to have dessert. "Mud fludge" ( if i din rmb wrong), oso recommended by dear. It was yummy too,haha,but oso fattening..LOL..cannot eat too much..haha..

blood ended...lolx

HEY!!

2008-01-12T04:50:00.000-08:00

Hey, sry for all the fans who waited so long fer my blog..whaha...Jus Joking, dun take it seriously.lolx..Past few days was busy wif all my sch works, projects. And wad more important is jus 2-3 weeks more we are having our final year exam..TAT DAMN FAST!! i still not even prepare to take the exam..Past few days was staying back to complete my CADM and ED project..Which is 30% and 50% respectively..50% wor..so many..if fail mean DOOM!! Luckily i have a pro in my group whom is my class tico pek...That wat we call him..HAHA..He is a genius!! lolx..And ty for his help, my ED,SOM,AM got 87,100,and 79 respectively..WOO..

Past fews day have been enriching for me, although may be abit tired, but i veri happy!! I din force myself but is my heart who wanna do it..yeah..Tat wat we call "真心",hehe..I weent to find her and see her almost everyday, i miss her alots..It was very meaningful,we chit chat and craps ard. What more important is she is smiling..I like her smile, it was like peaceful..And i enjoy been together wif her..hehe..

Let nt talk abt past few weeks/days..hmm..Tday i went out wif her again, we went to bugis to get our new year clothes tgt. We chat alots went we are in the mrt proceeding to bugis..haha..HAPPY CHATTING, yea..Then went we reach, we went to the shpping mall der 1st..We saw many FOODS which LOOK so nice!! haha..So we decided after our shpping, we will come back and buy those foods..And indeed, it taste fantastic..Yummy..haha..We went shpping ard and 1stly she was looking a present for his bro..FROG!! lol...Her bro love frog like his lover..haha..Den we went to shop for our stuff..I bought a 3/4 pants in S&K while she bought a shirt and long pants at der..The shop was so crowded tat even the changing room nid to wait fer 15min.!! lolx..After tat we went bugis street..Crowd madness der, can't even walk smoothly..But aniwae, we bought many stuff der!! hah..Shirt,accessories, jacket blah blah blah...All is her's..haha..I bought her some stuff too..There was 1 shirt which is damn nice, White in colour.. Can't wait to c her wear it!! haha..Later become pretty babe!! whaha...

Aniwae, whose is tis she!! hm..she is none other than my beloved "DEAR"!!

2008-01-03T06:08:00.000-08:00

现在是晚上10.08分，通常在这给时候会有一个人打电话给我，但这几天都没有了。好想念那把声音，好想在听那把声音在来烦我。真的真的好想!

2008-01-02T06:06:00.000-08:00

常常从各种管道听人说，“人”会因为各种经历而成长，起初我半信半疑因为我觉得，人始终有自己的“本性”不会应为某一些事而改变，除非是一件天摇地动的事。但我发现我错了，经历会使一个人成熟，懂事，而在不知不觉中“本性”也会有所提升。渐渐的待人处事也会更好。古人常说，“江山易改，本性难移”，我觉得这句话不成立。应为不是改不了，而是需要一个非常重要的因素，就是“时间”。无论时长，还是短，终究会有些变化。

她走了

2008-01-01T08:58:00.000-08:00

12月29日：

这天我们吵架了，也不知道算不算是吵架，就是我变成了哑巴，她说的什么话我都没回答。我也不晓得那天我为什么会这样。那天她回家时好像也没生气，但不详的预感与事情也就从这件事开始慢慢的产生。12月30日那天她一通电话和简讯都传给我。起初我以为她工作累，睡不够，所以才没有打电话给我。我不以为意就发了个简讯给她问她礼拜天要来找我吗？她也答应了。可是那天她又再次因为同样的理由失约了。过后她又没打电话给我，我就开始纳闷是不是有什么事情发生？因为通常都是她致电给我。我就传了一些无关紧要的东西给她：像是，"你是不是还应为那天的是还在生气所以不离我”。基于吃醋（那天看见她穿简讯给那个人）我就传了另一个简讯叫她如果那么不在意我，那就去更那个人在一起阿！

过后我陆陆续续传了几个类似这样的简讯给她，可是她好像一直在回避我的问题。我便起疑了，就直接的问她,"你是不是还喜欢他？”。她说“是”。一杀哪我愣住了，不知道要说什么。只是非常伤心与愤怒。那天晚上我睡不着，脑子里都是在想这件事。我发了好多简讯给她，最后我无奈提出了分手。过后的两天，我还是在想这件事。脑子里都是在想她，想我们的事。我就是放不下她。我爱她！星期二那天她约我去boonlay倒数，我拒绝了！我不知道要怎么面对她。那天我送走了微倪便独自一个人回家。那天回家时看见好多情侣，心里觉得好孤独。当我到了jp时，突然不想回家便一个人到处乱走。11.30我突然好像见她，便问她是不是还在boonlay哪儿倒数？她说他们换去marina-square了。我也便放弃这念头了，便一个人到家楼下过了2007年。想了很多东西，最后还是决定不放开她，便约她倒数过后见面。

当时我问她到底还爱不爱我，她是不是很爱他？她停泊了很久才回答“嗯". 当时其实我已知道我已不是她最喜欢的人。过后我向她表明了，“我说我很爱她；放不下她；很想念她；不想让她走，我也不生气她一脚踏两船，只要她肯回到我身边”。我把我们的戒指放在她手中，告诉她如果愿意接受的话，便把戒指给我。她给了！我好高兴！！我抱着她什么也没说，就是很高兴。但事情并没结束。我们聊了一会儿，我便问她“你会不会后悔？，你可以说你爱我”，这两句话，她安静了很久才回答我，“不会；爱“。但如果是你，你也知道这是幸福的谎言吧。我又问她，自从那次，还有没有在跟他接吻？她承认了。我突然觉得好伤心，为什么会这样!! 过后我陪她过了一个漫长的早晨便送她回家了。之后我也料到她会再一次提出分手，因为她需要多点时间考虑。

我说那么多其实不是想暗示什么，只是没对象诉苦。只是觉得是你的就是你的，没有人可以抢走。虽然这次我有一个不祥的预感，她应该不会回来了。但是我真的希望我是错的，我好想她！！新的一年我有个愿望，就是我好想告诉她我不会计较过去的事，我只是希望我们从新再来好吗？或许这个愿望不一定会实现，但我尊崇她的决定。

这些年我们也一起经过不少起起落落，而你的好和坚定让我不自不觉地爱上你。而或许我没做好一个男朋友责任，让你伤心难过。但我希望你能再给我个机会，让我好好爱你。3年了，不是说放下就能放下。还有就是我不希望因为父母的喜欢与不喜欢搅乱了你的决定。（如果真的要这样的话，那你为什么不往我母亲那方面想呢？）真心希望你幸福！我爱你 ( v )

Bored!!

2007-12-24T07:05:00.000-08:00

Dunno wat to post tis few weeks, becos nth special actually happen..Tday is x'mas eve or x'mas i oso dunno...lolx..Din celebrate x'mas in the past, so din particularly take note abt it..

Past few days went to bed veri EARLY, 4-5 am ...haha..Den slept till 1-3pm like tat...becoming a lazy worm now..lolx..Sch reopening soon, quite looking forward to it actually..Staying at hme seems more bored..lolx..But i haven started my project yet!! omg!! Have to hand up on 3 jan!! GOSH, PLZ HELP!!

Tday went driving at abt 4pm, quite disappointed wif my performance, IT DAMN LOUSY!! arg..Engine off, din signal..Luckily my 1st lesson for parking at least when smoothly..Phew..After driving went to jp to da bao for my dinner..I saw many couples tgt on the way hme...Dunno y, like feeling abit lonely and jealousy!! haha..Maybe piggy is nt wif me..hm...Think she is veri tired ba, after a long day fer her..She went to work at 4am, den all her relative was supposed to come to her hse to celebrate x'mas tgt...So i tink she will be busy entertaining dem..haha...SO XIAN MU!!..lolx..(xian mu all ur relative getting tgt to celebrate) Unlike me, haha...When i reach home, it was jus a dark and hush rooms..lolx..Like been deserted..lolx..Everyone was out, my parents went to work, my bro and sis hav their own programmes...I HAV mine too!! haha..Watching tv programmes lo..haha.

Tml meeting dem to catch the movie "I am Legend", hope the movie dun disappoint me!! MUS SCARE MY SOUL OUT!! lolx..Wed have to go back to sch to complete my sch work, thurs meeting winnie fer lunch (but i tink it would be a quick 1, cos she so busy!!) haha...Haven decide wat to eat actually..hm...Fri leh, meeting my pri sch frend and also to say farewell to my NAIMA!!..She goin aus to study dentistry!! lolx..weird!! haha..Din noe she like to smell human smelly mouth!!.haha...

Bored, end here ba..write another time..HOHOHO, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!..

Holiday!!

2007-12-14T22:18:00.000-08:00

O!!..After such long 3 weeks of exam i'm finally free to update my blog again..Exam was nt too difficult, and i tink i can get gd grades fer it..Except fer my ASAS, i tink i nid RE-TEST!!! Totally dun understand tat paper..jialat...3 weeks b4 i had my 1st Basic japanese lesson, it was fun!! Enjoy learning tis language..However it so difficult to write their word!! And my next lesson i will have my mini quiz le..DOOM!!! Hope everyting goes well fer me...Intro myself in jap : "Watashi wa Li xiaohui desu. Onamae wa? douzo yoroshiku". : "わたしは Li xiaohui です. おなまえは?. とうぞよろしく". : "I'am li xiaohui, wat is ur name? nice to meet u". A simple intro..haha..There still more to come, and i hope the next few lessons i could learn more..

Ytd was winnie b'day, bored a Hello Kitty Bag for her, hope she like it..
さよなら (sayonara).

2007-12-02T22:54:00.000-08:00

Since i have no photos of myself to upload, i upload tis Q Ban Jay Chow album de Photos..CUTE!!

2007-12-02T19:20:00.000-08:00

Sat slept till 1-2pm...lolx..Too tired after a long weekdays of sch, and also 6 pm i nid to work, tat y i slept til so late..Nth much to do actually...6 pm start work, and again, the supervisor din choose me again to be doin the service, so i will be doin the backlane stuff..( Backlane = doin all those cleaning or plate and cups.....) So boring..Argg...3 times go work, 2 times backlane..wtf!!! But luckily tat day there wasn't much tings to do, slack fer quite a while..woot...

Sun, was suppose to go out wif my piggy to get some stuff..But end up i went to play bball..LONG TIME din play le..hand itchy..whaha....But i regretted goin..lolx..cos nt many ppl went der, and some came late and go off early...And tat sd, went to run 42km maraton, when he reach bball court he can't even move and slept on the chair!! bwg...Nite time went out eat wif my parents..Since that time my dad angry we din go out eat le..lolx..My dad bring us go out eat also hav reason 1..lolx..Becos my mum shop sun revenue was high, tat y he will bring us..ARBO wait long long..haha

Mon was supposed to go to sch 7 hours for oni 2 module...1 hrs AM, 6 hrs CADM...Gonna dead...My CADM test is already failing, i still pon...lolx..My frend jus told me today lesson was super tough...oW!!....Actually wanted to go to sch..Wake up at 6.15 but still too lazy to force myself up, so i sleep again, till 6.50 when tis andy call me..hm..He ask me, today got CADM lesson ah? Follow by, "Den u wanna pon".. I was tinking, shld i go? But my body told me continue sleeping, becos i'm too shag!!..And end up i sleep till NOW!!! 11 plus le..whaha..Pro huh...TML BASIC JAPANESE lesson..

Bored!!

2007-11-28T02:33:00.000-08:00

Nth much to do tis few days, as usual went to sch everyday den went home...Monday was mine CADM test..I din reali quite prepare fer it..And truly i end up dunno how to do it..Tink i fail it ba...1st test 0/50, 2nd test 35/50, 3rd test 15/50 and 4th test ?/100...How i'm gonna pass tis module..damn!!...SIAN ah...Wat make me more angry is tat lecture owae say "easy easy"..Idiot, so irritating...Once i KP him back saying, "sir, y dun u go play bball, so easy ma, y u say difficult leh.."....SHOOT him back..

Forget abt it ba...hm...Tue was a free day fer me...Cos my Basic jap is oni starting next week...Slept till 1 plus den found out tat winnie wanna call me out and eat...Cos she NAN DE free tat day...But sry wor..haha...Thurs gonna test again, ASAS, another jialat module fer me...hope i wun do so bad fer it..

AND 1 MOre TING!!! WINNIE DUN PUT SO MANY PHOTOS ON UR BLOG LEH...!! haha.... Make my blog so DULL and plain..so sad...next time i go find funny photo and put..!! lolx.

Tired!!

2007-11-23T21:16:00.000-08:00

Ytd sch was as usual, nth much to do and i didn't bring my lecture notes, so i was nt paying attention at all. Die!! Common test is 2 weeks time..And MONDAY i hav a stupid CADM test..Hope i dun fail, becos i fail 2/3 mini test for tis module...

After sch went to work with gab,ry,andy,sd...It was a damn tiring day..Cos i too long din work le, the foot was damn aching..But overall the work was ok, jus tat i nid to adapt..But there was 1 serious ting, the supervisor der was damn F**** up...They shld be blacklisted with ATTITUDE PROBLEM..They told us to gib dem respect but in return wat they gib us was shit...I tink most of the workers der was unhappy though...But der still minority which are gd la..hm..
Ytd was my 1st day, so i dunno wat to do, and my partner was busying doin other stuff...He leave the serving all on my own...Lucky der was a helpful auntie teaching me and we get along well too..She brought me to drink soft drink and oso wanted to eat the dessert..The dessert was like mango ...... I dunno how to say...She was it delicious..But too bad, when we wanted to eat, a supervisor was ard..So too bad....Ytd 1st day i work OT le, hm....Actually wanted to go back, but my frend andy was chosen as OT staff, and those f*** up supervisor dun allowed those chosen to leave even if they do not wan to work..Such idiots rite..FORCING ppl..."HEY WE ARE JUS PART TIMER"!!... End up ry, gab oso accompany him..lolx..After work went to ry hse der to makan den i went to don at ry hse...Jus reach home nt long ago...Quite tired actually...But abit lazy to sleep!!! haha..

2day is my 2nd day, hope everyting goes smoothly..AND oso my test for MONDAY...PRAY FER ME!!lolx

it THURSDAY!!

2007-11-22T04:23:00.000-08:00

This morning wake up at 9...But too sleepy, end up sleep another 1/2 hr more..lolx...After tat went to bukit tamah to buy my lunch b4 goin to sch..Carrot cake and Chicken rice..Woot!! Ate the carrot cake at sch..YUMMY den eat my chicken rice with my frend near a place at my next class..2day lesson was easy, jus go and slack..lolx..except for tat stupid ASAS module..That teacher dunno how to teach la..!! He's simply BORED!!..Play game for tat 2 hrs lesson..lolx..2day regretted nt bring my laptop, becos others all bring..den i can't play game wif dem..sad...

Tday 1 of my course leader told my friend abt an oversea study trip to china si chuan..And i'm interested it it.!! yea..I will have 3 module less to study if i go..It right after my attachment which is next year oct...However oni abt 5-6 students is allow to go..And some of my frend are oso interested..I still yet to ask permission frm my parents..But mostly can ba...But i''m jus worry abt someting..Not abt the weather, food, people, culture or bla bla bla when i go der..Worry abt my piggy...Cos if i go, i will leaver her alone at SG for 4-6 mths..And b4 tat i have attachment...Which already cos our meeting time..MORE IMPORTANTLY, after tat trip, i will still nid serve NS fer 2 years..LOLX...so some wat we can c each other for quite long while..hm..HOW!! jialat

1st POST

2007-11-20T04:50:00.000-08:00

Yea...Tis is the 1st time i posting on my blog..Hope wun be so bad huh... Today have been a tiring day. Ytd when for a dinner at JE celebrating my ancestor b'day, my dad book a table and pay $500 for it..SO EXP HUH..After tat when to my relative new hse which is near my hse...Their hse look big and was well design..The design was like 中国风, look so beautiful...OH MAN, when can i have my own hse!!! The housing price is like damn high now..ARG!!! Next time maybe live under a bridge..LOLX!!..

Tday wake up was like damn tired, feel so sleepy. However still manage to drag myself out of the bed and went to sch... I was 1/2 hr late fer the lesson and I'm suppose to expect chee hao and austin to reach the class 1st as we are having the same module..End up i'm the 1st to reach becos they went to eat..So F** up...Shld cont sleeping!! We finish our proj which is doin the lego tingy..Waste time module..ZZ...After sch went to eat at Bukit Timah der..But b4 we reach, we already become "Drop soup chicken" (direct translation frm mandarin)..The food der was delicious and cheap..After tat went to find piggy...Actually wanted to go home and sleep 1, but end up we ended up at KBOX...Cos i suddenly wanted to SING!! SHOCKING MAN!!..haha...But anyway we enjoy der...NOW 9.05, actually wanna go running, tat stupid damn weather, rain AGAIN!! arg.......Go sleep better...Woo....I bought my next IS module book...BASIC JAP, dun understand all the ting inside...LOLX...